In relationships, most men hate admitting they're wrong (because we rarely are). But being able to apologize when you've erred actually proves that you're the bigger man.

Some men never do it, and some use the "I'm sorry honey" at any occasion that might call for it (and the girlfriend is usually the one calling it).

And because overdoing anything usually results in an abundant loss of value, men need to learn why, when, and how to apologize to women.
Why Should You Apologize?
If you're stuck in traffic and late picking up your girlfriend for your anniversary dinner, should you apologize and move on with the evening just because she's angry at you and your tardiness?

No. In this situation, you weren't at fault and apologizing to her would only serve to make her happy. Although her happiness is important, it shouldn't require a pre-emptive apology. If you're simply saying sorry to smooth things over, then it's not appropriate.

On the other hand, if you forget to make reservations to your usual restaurant, and both of you end up going to KFC for a bucket of wings, you should definitely be apologetic. This situation warrants an apology because you did something wrong. It wasn't an occurrence that was out of your hands, but rather your forgetfulness that upset your lover.
Does She Deserve It?
I would venture a guess that 65% of petty arguments among couples occur because the man doesn't offer an apology when the woman expects it. Although I don't have scientific research to back this up (only the number of times my buddies ended up sleeping on the couch after getting the "nothing's wrong" routine), I'm sure many guys would agree.

Even if you don't understand why some situations make your girlfriend angry, you have to make the effort.

I asked a panel of 15 women when they think an apology is in order. Here are their most popular comments:

Being late for a date
Not returning her phone call
Not making her a priority
Flirting with other women
Being rude to her friends and family
Not meeting her sexual demands
Insulting her in front of others
Saying she looks fat (even if you're being honest )


Apologizing for the aforementioned reasons is not always warranted. It would be wrong to assume that you must always apologize for being late (were you drinking with buddies or stuck in traffic?) or for not making her a priority (do you stay at work late because your company is laying off employees or because you want to socialize with the hottie in the next cubicle?).

Every situation is different, but if you decide that an apology is unequivocally called for, here are 6 tips to remember before going ahead with it.


I'm Sorry Honey
Don't fake it
To make a crude comparison; if you don't expect your woman to fake it in bed, she won't expect you to fake an apology. Besides, your woman can often tell when you're telling a white lie.

Saying you're sorry for the sake of keeping the peace will only skirt the issue for a short while. Over the long haul, you're setting yourself up for a slew of expected apologies that must be delivered the moment she begins feeling miffed. And as well, you're letting her have her way when she sometimes doesn't deserve it.

Space them out for when you really screw up, and they'll be more effective.

Say it, mean it
How would you feel if your lady told you she was sorry for totalling your sports car, and did so while giving herself a manicure? You wouldn't think her sincere, would you? Well, the same applies here.

Put the remote control down, look her in the eyes, apologize, and prepare yourself for a lengthy discussion. Yeah, I know, but this is the right way to apologize.

If all she expects is for you to ask her forgiveness, but you don't think she deserves it, then tell her so. You don't have to be rude about it, just explain your reasons for doing what you did thoroughly. Who knows, she might end up apologizing.

Don't make a habit of it
As couples often get into a routine with certain parts of the relationship, if the woman keeps complaining about things, and the man keeps apologizing for everything under the sun, (including rainy days during their vacation time), then it's time to bring out the big guns for an emergency rescue.

If you apologize to your woman constantly, she'll keep expecting them, with the added bonuses of roses and foot massages. Don't give into this vicious cycle.

Take time to calm down
If you're in middle of a heated argument, and realize you went overboard with the Yo Mama jokes, take a moment to breathe, or even walk away for a minute. Calm yourself down and then continue the discussion.

You don't want to aggravate the situation further by trying to excuse your comments; take time out to gain some perspective.

Do it right
Don't think of this as a means to an end (especially if you're watching Monday Night Football ); choose your words carefully and don't simply say you're sorry.

Personalize your apology with something like "I'm sorry I didn't pay more attention to your feelings" or "I promise I won't do it again." Even if it sounds like an outtake from a Julia Roberts movie, women appreciate it.

Don't go to bed angry
Make sure the argument is resolved, and don't drag it on. This approach is used by many and is a perfect way to deal with situations as they come. Don't push off disputes and potential fights. Be sure you understand why she's angry and try to make it right, even if it's not always your fault.
Let It Go
The best way to figure out when you should apologize is to put yourself in her shoes. If you think what you did warrants an apology, then it's time to grovel, buddy.

Remember that saying sorry doesn't take away from your masculinity, on the contrary, it actually adds to it because it demonstrates that you're confident enough to admit when you're wrong.