Have you ever been the victim of relationship envy? Jealousy can ravage the bond you share with a close friend or worse, with your sweetheart. Whatever the casualty rate, you may not emerge unscathed.

One day you and your crew seem to be on the same wavelength but then all of a sudden, your woman is causing a severe disruption. She could be to blame if she had a vendetta or treated you like a child in front of them, but that is not the problem. She is the love of your life and you have never been happier. But so
mehow your hombre no longer has your back. What's the deal?

If your woman took you away from your boys, you could understand the animosity. Hell, what man has not been there before? When you were single, you were down for whatever night after night, running the streets with your dogs and wreaking havoc.

Then she entered the picture and put a leash on you. The natural reaction from your crew was to howl in disbelief. Torn between your masculine allegiance and her feminine charm, you succumbed to the latter secure in the fact that they would understand. They did, after an incessant stream of abuse and grief, not to mention persistent bitterness and vehement hatred for your selfish woman.

To help resolve the matter, you ended the relationship (they seldom last) once her act wore thin. The next day you were back on the street, chasing tail with your dogs. They still gave you a hard time, but you knew it was all love.
The Ideal Woman
Now you find yourself in a different quandary. The woman in your life is cool with the close connection you have with your boys. She is even amused and attracted to you because of it -- inside jokes, infantile pranks and all.

According to her, your interaction with them is sweet. Whatever. The point is that she has appreciation and respect for them and your need to be with them. In fact, she has encouraged your autonomy and is independent enough to make plans with her friends. What a lucky man.
One Of The Boys
Even better is the fact that she can hang with your boys and not stick out, save for the fact that she is a hot girl. Your woman is down with your inside lingo, can sit and observe and has the instinct to step in and grab the spotlight at the right time.

Whether the group is together to play basketball, watch the game or shoot pool and drink beer, your baby can blend. If not for the fact that you have sex with her on a regular basis, she could be one of the boys. There is not a sane man alive who would not want to be in your shoes.

She's too hot for them to handle...


The Quest To Be The Best
And that is the precise problem you face. Your woman is so ideal and hot that your friends either want her or cannot stand the fact that you found her. Men are strange that way. We have a competitive edge that can be a detriment to the greater good.

We want our boy to do well, but not too well. Deep down inside, we want to be the best in the group at everything. Men are born with that desire to gain an edge and conquer. No matter how altruistic you may be, I know you feel me.

When you golf with a friend and he smacks a screaming drive flush down the middle of the fairway, do you not wish that you had done it? Or do you admire the drive, congratulate him and move on? Please.

Brotherhood and male bonding aside, we covet the title of Alpha Male. We all want to be the leader of the pack, which is why we seek to kill each other on the basketball court, football field or even around the pool table. Hell, I once even saw an all-out fight start over a video game.
Why Do They Player Hate?
Throw a woman into the mix and it could get ugly. Here you are once again with that perfect honey. The one who can integrate into your crew without a hitch. You have never been more content with a woman in your life.

Are your boys happy for you? Sure. But at the same time, they harbor a certain degree of envy that you have found that diamond in the rough. Forget the fact that your time is now divided between her and them. That used to be a problem until you met your current flame.

Unlike the psychotic dependent you called your ex however, the woman by your side is a supreme complement. How can your friends take issue with that?

Easy. Check it out:

They have nobody but each other: Aside from the occasional fling, you are the first one to settle down with a good woman. To a man, your crew can see how mature and peaceful you have become and long to reach your level in the near future. But when they look around, the girls they see pale in comparison to the woman you have found.

She is too perfect: They want her around but at the same time, they wish she would stay at home. Her presence is like torture. Her ability to fit in is superlative, no matter the setting or company. She can talk sports and hang with the macho act, as well as the crude sexual humor. To cap it off, she loves to talk about women even more than you do and will point out a hot specimen on the street or in a club for your boys to ogle. Add it up and you have one intoxicating honey. Half the time your crew is vying for her attention and the other half is spent glaring at you in envy.


She is hot: Your pals have a hard time deciding whether they want to pat you on the back or pat her on the butt. In fact, your girl is the best-looking female any of you have ever landed by far. When you are not around, a popular topic of conversation with your crew is how on earth you were able to land her. If you can get a hot woman to fall in love with you, then they should be able to do the same. Except that it has not happened yet. Not even close. So while they toil in a twilight zone of less than attractive women, you bask in the glory of your queen. That can be a bitter pill for your crew to follow.

She has made you a better man: You still participate in the sophomoric games but something has changed. Now that you have a solid relationship in your life, your priority list has been altered. What may have seemed important in the past, like the inebriated darts tournament or the road trip to Tijuana, is no longer a major event. To confound your crew even more is the fact that she encourages you, yet you still say no. Perhaps your reluctance and newfound maturity have made the boys realize how pathetic some of their antics are. You have evolved with an ideal partner by your side but they have remained stagnant, doing the same thing week in, week out. You still love to chill and party with them, but the dynamic is different. Not worse, just different. Until they have time to adjust and grow, how can they not be jealous?
How To Deal
The most effective response in the face of relationship envy is no response. If you bring it up with your posse, it could result in an awkward exchange. Do you expect a confession from a friend who you suspect is jealous because your woman is perfect? Forget it. It will never happen. Here is what you do:

Fix them up
If your woman is so hot and cool, she may know other women like her. Hook it up for your crew.

Leave her at home
She may be the ideal addition to the group, but her presence has become a distraction. Keep it masculine once in a while and integrate her on a gradual basis.

Marry her
You read it right. As your wife, your crew will have to get over their relationship envy and deal with the permanence of the situation.

Have a baby together
Read above and multiply by a thousand.

Yup, that ought to do it. Until next time, let the boys know that you value their friendship even if you love your woman with all you've got.