For the bachelor not yet burdened with a family, few scenarios are as daunting as dating a single mother. You may have been with a woman who was close to her family. You may have had to explain yourself to an overprotective father or brother, shotgun in hand. You may have had to bear the impossible weight of maternal expectations but nothing, I repeat nothing, can prepare you for the challenge of dating a single mother.

The usual player approach will not work. Nor will false compassion, where you feign interest in order to
add another notch to your bedpost. In fact, if you attempt to use a routine from your vaunted repertoire to most single mothers, you will face a swift rebuke.

The game you play with other women may not have the same effect. I have always recommended that men be genuine and sincere in their love life but with a single mother, you should hardcode that nugget of advice on your cerebellum.

The Game Is Not The Same

Most men are conditioned with the impulse to treat dating like a hunt, a topic for another article but pertinent to the one at hand. In our subconscious, we connect to our primordial heritage via the modern ritual of seeking out a partner for life, or for tonight.

The metaphor of man as predator and woman as prey may seem crude but at the end of the day, many believe it. Because in order to succeed at dating, we have to impress the woman, or conquer her, so that she can choose us as a partner. The entire procedure is not as far removed from a courting scene on Animal Planet as we may think.

The twist is that, everything being equal, women have the power to decide whether the dating light is green or red. Male power is an illusion because it is granted to us by the female. If we push the magic buttons, the door opens. Check your masculine pride at the door and acknowledge that truth.

But how much of that biological, primordial theory do you buy? To be honest, I think some of it is logical, but I also believe that a generalization does not do people justice. The crucial point to keep in mind is that if you fall into the category of believer, then you have to wipe the slate clean and adopt a new philosophy if a single mother has captured your attention, or heart. Are you man enough to accept the challenge?

Yummy mummies are everywhere...


Beware The Yummy Mummy
A yummy mummy is in your sight and you need to devise a strategy to foster her trust. Let me save you the agony: forget strategy and focus on honesty. Drop the selfish act and think about the line to be crossed.

There is no fooling a single mother. She has been there before and seen your kind. Her defense mechanism may be weak and she could be vulnerable to your advance but the act will wear thin fast. The mere fact that she is a mother is indicative of the fact that she has experience with men.

Forget sexual experience for a moment. I refer to psychological experience. There is a strong chance that she is hip to the games men play. Even if she is an ingénue and you manage to spark her attention, how much of her time do you expect to occupy?

There is more to the equation than the two of you. There is a child or children to consider. You need an attitude adjustment before you date a single mother. But first, a dose of reality.

You thought your life was tough? Try being a single mother. Think you have a lot of responsibility to shoulder? Try being a single mother. Try being accountable for another life. Chew on that before you complain that she has to get back to drive the babysitter home.
A Steep Downside
So as you can imagine, the disadvantage to dating a single mother is the fact that she has baggage. She has more obligations than you, more bills to pay, more concerns, and more stress. Her life is more serious. She has less time for leisure.

The bulk of her compassion, devotion and sympathy is reserved for her child. Can you deal with second place? Because for the most part, her child will be the default recipient of her love. You must be capable of understanding and accepting that fact.

The kid might hate you..


Not to mention the fact that her child could hate you. Who can blame him? You are the other man. You are a threat to his father, whether you intend to be or not. And there is no perfect rule to abide by to win the child over. I would recommend that you work on the mother in the hope that the child may follow, but I know better.

Expect resistance and resentment no matter how sincere and likeable you are. You have entered an impossible situation that will require time and work in order for everyone to be comfortable. Are you willing to make that sacrifice? Make certain that the woman is worth it or else you will disrupt more than one life.
No Risk Without Reward
The advantage to the single mother is the fact that she has been through the game and if I may generalize, is confident of her relationship needs. Most men who require a translator to decipher female code should appreciate this: you may not need one with a single mother because she does not have the time or energy to be playful or mysterious. She will tell you upfront what she expects and wants from you.

You are now absolved from having to be insincere! The single mother welcomes honesty and is tougher than other women you hurt in the past with an insensitive action or comment. She has diapers to change. Do you think she has time to dwell on the fact that you cannot commit? So go ahead and let her know straight up if you can hang with her situation.

The reward to dating a single mother is considerable. She could end up as the most devoted and loving woman you ever meet, if you exercise patience and compassion from the outset.

Just imagine how your life could change if you fall for her kid. If you recognize why dating a single mother is akin to playing on a different level, you should be fine. If not, I feel sorry for everyone involved.