When you saw her for the first time, your stomach did a somersault, your heart took a trampoline leap into your throat and your knees began to wobble like a Slinky down a staircase. She was, without a doubt, the most attractive woman you had ever seen.

There was a certain je ne sais quoi about her that was impossible to ignore. And so came the chase and the game of cat and mouse that men and women love to play. What is more fun than the thrill of the hunt? You both know that you want each other yet you pretend otherwise. Together, you revel in that beautiful and almost painful tension before you submit to temptation in a heap of emotion and passion. This is, without question, the best part of a new relationship.

Hence the problem I address now. What do you do as a man once the "honeymoon period" is over? Well for one, what is the honeymoon period? Try my definition on for size: The honeymoon period is the phase in which your relationship with her consumes you.
She'll Swallow You Up
Think of the power of that word: consume. You want her all the time. She is on your mind 24/7. You fantasize about her. You have marathon phone conversations. You prepare for dates like job interviews. Your appearance and speech have never been so important. All you want to do is please her. And the best part of course, is that she feels the same way.

I can see the mail now: "Hey Lawrence, I feel the same way about my wife/girlfriend that I did back in the day." Impossible. Maybe the love is stronger, maybe the love is different. But not the same . There is no way to approximate or sustain the honeymoon level of emotion and passion. No way.

Think about it and be logical. A relationship has a natural ebb and flow. Why disrupt that? Why fight the current? Go with that flow and embrace the transition into a new relationship phase. Far be it for me, however, to blame my brothers if they try to milk the honeymoon period for all it's got.

Why does it have to end? Find out...


Why And When Does It End?
For some couples, the honeymoon period is a brief affair. For others, it can last a year. For the most part, however, I estimate that by month six, the average couple has found a niche or comfort zone.

A disclaimer: This is not a negative development. The honeymoon period, by nature, is set up to end. People cannot sustain that level of enthusiasm without some sort of decline, either in frequency or intensity. You spend the majority of your free time with her in order to get to know her on an intimate level. But once you attain that goal, how can you expect to feel the same?

When you open a present, do you feel the same way about it a month later? No. You may appreciate and love it, but that sense of anticipation is gone. Here then, are factors that hasten the demise of the honeymoon period:

Too much sex
Hard to accept for most men, but that initial impulse to have constant relations with her may haunt you. Be careful what you wish for, because the more sex you have, the more comfortable you become in front of each other. Draw it out and let the sexual tension build.

The temptation to jump in the sack at the drop of a thong is very, very powerful at first, but also quite dangerous. Where do you go from there? I agree that you have to explore your desires, without question. But too much intimate knowledge about your woman too fast can be a detriment to the relationship and the span of the honeymoon period. So if you want that flame to burn longer, hold off on the sex every now and then.

Your first fight
Events that precipitate a "loss of innocence" are causes for the death of the honeymoon period. Your first major fight with her is a perfect example. When we start to date and fall in love, we tend to ignore characteristics about a woman that annoy us. Women of course, do the same.

Everyone wants to have an ideal relationship, without arguments. But human nature is a strong force and of course, a relationship devoid of disagreements is impossible. Before too long, you will fight with your woman. It can start out innocent enough, with a casual reference to a personal habit or a comment about her sister. Maybe you cast a glance at a beautiful woman while she was in the middle of a sentence. Or maybe you just forgot to call her when you got home after a date. Whatever the reason, personal feelings will get in the way at some point and tempers may flare.

When you do erupt in a fight, you will find that after all is said and done and post-makeup sex, the relationship is different. You have seen a side of her, and vice versa, that was not as attractive as her passionate, devoted to you, naked-in-bed side. The relationship just became real. No more illusions of an ideal woman anymore.

If something bad happens or you become too familiar with each other, the honeymoon goes ba-bye ..


A tragedy
In legalese, we call the next point force majeure or an "act of God." By that I refer to an outside event beyond your locus of control, like a death in the family or an illness. The point is that when a tragic, serious matter grabs the focus of the relationship and wrestles it away from that new, carefree phase, the ice is broken.

Now, neither of you can afford to be playful or giddy with one another and since that is the modus operandi of the honeymoon period, it is, in effect, put on indefinite probation, if not cut off for good. The positive is that a couple that can break through tragedy together, despite the short tenure of the relationship, has a good shot at a lifetime of love.

You know each other too well
Do not despair when you discover that you can complete her sentences, or recite the middle names of her second cousins. All that represents is that you have spent a considerable amount of time and effort getting to know her better. And that is good.

The downside, if there is one, is that you both have a considerable level of familiarity with one another and now have lost that "butterfly" factor, or sense of uncertainty. On some level, you can now take each other for granted, which in my mind has never been a negative. After all, do we not strive to gain the confidence, trust and love of someone we can count on for life, if not for a few years?

To take your partner for granted then, has never been altogether bad to me. I want to reach the point where I know someone inside out and vice versa. Where I can bank on the fact that she has my back. So view it as a positive development when every boundary has been crossed, your family and medical history has been divulged and of course, you have an acute awareness of the location of every birthmark on her body.
To Know Her Is To Love Her
If intimate knowledge, both emotional and physical, of a woman is not the end goal of our initial curiosity and infatuation, then what is? I hate when men say, "I love the hunt and then I lose interest." Give me a break and please, grow up.

By the same token, grasp the concept that the honeymoon period is a fun time to enjoy and then, bid a firm farewell to, without regret. Bask in it and make the most of it, but I advise you to focus on the future. To feel another way about her once the honeymoon phase is over is not to care about her less; just to love her in a different, and I hope for your sake, better way.