The time has come to lay down the rules of engagement . The time has come to get down to brass tax and provide all potential grooms, and men in general out there, with advice on how to find the perfect ring for that special woman in your life.

Of course, the debate among certain cynical, though some may say wise, men will always ensue: Why the heck do we have to buy a ring? Why do we have to drop that kind of coin on a trinket?

The short answer for some of us is simple: Because we want to. Some men recognize the inherent symbolism an engagement ring has as a mark of decisive commitment, promise of ultimate love, devotion and so on. This is neither right nor wrong. This just is .

Past experience with women and family history can have much to do with your opinion on the subject. A man who has undergone three divorces and the equivalent of financial rape without the protection of a prenuptial agreement or decent lawyer may not look so well on the expense, or significance, of an engagement ring. Heck, even some men about to marry their high-school sweetheart feel an uncomfortable pressure to buy the perfect ring and question the entire process to begin with. But when push comes to shove, most of you who marry will do the ring thing, like it or not.
I Like Engagement Rings
I actually like it to be quite honest. I do not think you have to spend a fortune to ice her finger and blind everyone she meets with a rock the size of Gibraltar, but I appreciate the tradition of the engagement ring. I never have been the cynical sort who thought it was part of a vast conspiracy by the diamond industry to make more moolah off the masses.

There seems to be near universal agreement after all, on the historical origin of engagement rings, or diamond engagement rings to be more precise. Many sources, and yes the Diamond Trading Company, the world's leading diamond sales and marketing company, is one of them, concur that the tradition began in 1477 when Archduke Maximilian of Austria bought his future wife Mary of Burgundy enough carats for Snoop Dogg to remark, " bling bling my nizzle !" Since that momentous event, the tradition has spread throughout the Judeo-Christian ethos and men have spent an inordinate amount of effort, time and money in an attempt to find the perfect ring for their soon-to-be spouses.

Here's some bonus information, free of charge, that you can use to romance your lady as you slip the ring on: In ancient Egypt, it was common belief that the vena amoris (love vein) ran from the fourth finger of the left hand to the heart. So if you want to point the blame at anyone, fault the Hapsburg Empire of Austria, Ancient Egypt, as well as the global diamond consortiums, for our modern obsession with engagement rings.

I blame women for it all..


Women Are To Blame
I say this in jest, of course, because as we all know, women are to blame for bank account liquidation in the name of the ideal finger bauble. Okay, so maybe I do not believe that either, but I can say with confidence that many men do (some of them even write for AskMen.com). In particular, men who have been through costly divorces and would love to have the 10 grand back that they spent on that pear-shaped rock set on a white gold band. But when you think about it, society fuels unrealistic expectations for not just the perfect engagement ring, but also the perfect everything : Sex life, marriage, children, body, career, and life in general.

So try to separate yourself from every other couple, diamond engagement ring and lofty expectation set before you as you strive to kick-start your personal path to nuptial bliss with not the perfect ring, but the perfect ring for your woman and your circumstance.

That said, here are some factors to consider:

The Cost Of The Ring
Jewelry is expensive. Good jewelry is even more expensive. Good jewelry with diamonds is... you get the point here, men. When you start to devise a budget for your ring and solicit advice on the matter, the two-month rule will come up. That is, your salary over a two, or even three-month period, is a common benchmark to judge how much to spend, according to Mr. Pius Kaufmann, a diamond expert and founder of the exclusive Kaufmann de Suisse jewelry stores, with locations in Montreal, New York and Palm Beach. Take that to mean whatever you want it to. Some men spend more because they may have other disposable income from another source and some men spend less and find a more than acceptable ring to bestow on their significant other. The choice is yours. I suggest you shop around, talk to jewelers, surf the Web for resources on the subject and of course, talk to other men who have done the deed.

The Four C's
To determine the best price for your ring, you need to familiarize yourself with the four C's, unless of course, you don't plan to buy her a diamond engagement ring. But if, like the vast majority of the population, you opt to, do recognize that more than any other factors, carat, clarity, color, and cut determine the cost of a diamond.

Carat
The concept here is simple: Carat refers to the weight of a diamond. The more carats, the more your bank balance falls. But remember that bigger is not always better. It all depends on the blend of the other diamond characteristics and also, the size of her finger. If your honey has a slender frame and small hands, a 1-carat stone is enough to make a statement.

Clarity
Evaluators of diamonds base part of the price on luster and sheen. These relate to the clarity of the stone. You can spend less on a very large but cloudy diamond for example, than on a small but transparent and shiny one. Diamonds are the most durable compounds on earth and the amount of pressure it takes to cut one is immense. Inclusions (an industry term) form and as a result, there are grades to rate specific diamonds for clarity. The important thing to bear in mind, however, is that the less flaws visible to the naked eye, the more expensive the stone. Keep that in mind as you shop around.

Don't forget color and cut...


Color
People, rather women, prize the sparkle or refraction of light from a white diamond above all else. The more color one has, the less sparkle there is. Hence, the price rises. There are color grades for diamonds, from D-E-F (clear) to V-W-X (yellow tint), that you must balance with the clarity grade to determine what stone is best for your lady and budget.

A final note about color: The standards above refer to white diamonds. "Fancy" color diamonds, such as the pink one Ben gave to J-Lo, are very rare and out of reach for most.

Cut
Cut may be the most elusive C to understand. A good cut predisposes the amount of light that can enter into the stone, refract and emit that brilliant quality that people love in a diamond. Rather than go into the specifics of this C (trust me, this is heady stuff), I suggest you read up on it yourself (you'll find a link at the end of the article in the Resources).

Certification Of Diamond
There are some shady characters out there that claim they can sell you a 2-carat diamond for a crazy price. Do not believe the hype. That diamond is bound to be cubic zirconium or more to the point, glass. Hey, maybe you want glass. Be my guest. But if it's a diamond you seek, buy from a reputable jeweler who can certify the stone. That is, when you purchase the ring, you will receive a certificate of authenticity that is, in essence, a blueprint of the diamond. The document will outline the characteristics of the stone, but not the price. Make sure the issuer is either the Gemological Institute of America (GIA) or the American Gem Society (AGS).

Pius Kaufmann, with almost 50 years of experience in the business and global recognition as one of the foremost diamond experts, has this advice for men about to purchase their first diamond:

"Look for a jeweler you know you can trust. One that has a good reputation in the community and one that has been in business for many years."

"Does the quality of the merchandise adhere to the highest standards? Look at the workmanship -- the inside of the diamond should be as beautifully finished as the outside. Make sure the setting work is done with the utmost perfection, as you would not want to risk losing a stone you cherish."

The Ring's Band
The amount of importance you place on the band of the ring is up to you. Because the vast majority of the cost is for the diamond, you may choose not to consider it much at all. In terms of precious metals, you have silver, gold, white gold, and platinum, with the latter being the most expensive. However, Kaufmann states that "the best settings are in platinum, for it is the most resistant metal."

Try to find out her taste and style, and go from there. You have to consider the width and thickness of the band, her hand type and skin color, not to mention her present jewelry stash. If she wears a lot of white gold, then bingo, you have your candidate. How the diamond is set within the band is very important as well. Some men like jewelers to raise the rock high on the band in order to show it off to the world, but that may make the ring look gaudy. Go for modesty and class for a timeless look.