There isn't a man out there who has not experienced a deep sense of loss or regret subsequent to a relationship breakup. Whether you ended it or she was the instigator, it is natural to be plagued with a lingering need to be with her once again.

The essential element to bear in mind is that your motives for winning her back should be noble
. Many men fall prey to a sense of duty in holding a relationship together or are fearful of being perceived as failures if it doesn't work out in the long-term. For those susceptible to preserving a relationship for the wrong reasons, the following article wasn't written with you in mind.

It was created to respond to those men who have experienced the demise of a relationship and need advice on how to make it work again. These are the type of men intent not just to see the bond with their girlfriend survive, but thrive. It also goes without saying that these are the same men who would not resort to the desperate tactic of trying to win an ex-girlfriend back just for the sex. The latter is common so I want it understood from the outset that the ensuing advice should be used for good and not evil.
What Went Wrong?
In order to win that special lady back, you'll have to sift through some deep and painful issues. Take stock of where you both made a wrong turn and why. If you fail to identify the problem, you'll fall short in finding the solution. Avoid asking yourself the question, "Who was to blame?" Pointing the finger at your girlfriend will lead to bitter feelings rather than reconciliation.

The answer isn't as obvious as her becoming upset by something you did or vice versa, thus prompting the dissolution of the relationship. In most cases, the cause of the breakup is much more deep-rooted than that. Were both of your relationship needs being met? Were either of you fulfilling the intrinsic values of a close relationship? These are the questions to ask.
Make A Declaration To Change
Once you know what went wrong, you might still have time to do something about it. Depending on your circumstance, the time has come for an apology or forgiveness. Maybe even both.

The process will have to be gradual, regardless of the situation. Women have an aversion to being accosted and forced to listen to the ramblings of a desperate man. Be patient and understanding. If you broke up with her, she may have trouble dealing with your newfound enthusiasm to reunite.

What if she left you?


If she instigated the breakup, you should give her an appropriate buffer of time before proposing to be exclusive again. Expect her to be hurt, bitter and even angry by the news. The trump card however, will be your vow to change. Not an empty promise to change, but an explicit plan to fix the bugs that beleaguered you as a couple. Let me warn you now that an unrealistic plea, made under duress, to put everything right will end in disaster. She may buy it now but in time, the truth will emerge.
Talk It Out
You have her where you want her -- on the cusp of getting back together. Perfect. Except for the fact that if nothing changes, the relationship is doomed to repeat history. You must have a dialogue about what you both can improve on in the future.

If the relationship took a dive because neither of you knew how to give in during a fight, sit down and devise a set of rules for both of you to follow during the next conflict. It can be as simple as resolving to never go to bed angry or telling her how much you care whenever your pride makes it near impossible to do so.

Whatever both of you decide, the important thing is that you are working together to improve the connection. Now instead of her feeling negative toward you, her focus has been shifted to the positive development of the relationship.
Appreciate What You Have
If you're the type of man who revels in the hunt, only to toss your kill to the side, you may want to hold your primordial instincts in check. Now that you have her back, do not, under any circumstance, take her for granted. You had to work hard to get to this point, so keep reminding yourself why it was all worth it whenever you begin to doubt your decision.

Think back to the sleepless nights, to her insistence on leaving you and to the amount of effort expended in order to convince her to change her mind. What about the skeptical family and friends who had to digest her explanation about what transpired between you two? As long as you still care for her, put the relationship at the top of your priority list.
What's Left?
One final piece of advice -- make the relationship revision process continuous and sustained. Conduct an audit of the relationship and assess whether it is in fact your ex that you want back, or the feeling of comfort and confidence you had when you were with her.

If the relationship was your first or you tremble at the thought of being single, maybe you should delay thoughts of reconciliation until you perform an internal audit on yourself .

When you do proceed to bridge the gap for the right reason and succeed in getting her back, cultivate the relationship like a prize rose bush so you can avoid having to read this article again.