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- The Contemporary Man/ T. Miller
- At The Contemporary Man's, we guarantee that you will succeed with women and get the results you want from your dating life when you use our proven system for success with women called 'Dating Power'. You simply cannot fail when you use our tested techniques for success with women. We have spent the last 5 years testing and refining our method for success with women by: Approaching, dating and being in relationships with modern women ourselves. Coaching over 650 guys in person and literally showing them how to approach and pick up women using our natural style. Testing our techniques in all sorts of social environments, including parties, workplaces, nightclubs, cafes, shopping malls and bookstores to name a few. Interviewing women from around the world and asking for their opinions on the modern dating and relationship scene. Researching all available studies, published documentation and theories in this field. Following up with guys that we'd coached to find out if they needed more advice as they become more successful with women. We then included the advanced advice in our products.
Monday, May 26, 2014
How to Bring Up Sex When Talking to a Woman
How to Bring Up Sex When Talking to a Woman
The best way to bring up sex when talking to a woman is to smile and confidently say, “You’re sexy. I like you.” However, before you do that must first ensure that she is feeling sexually attracted to you. Telling her that she is sexy without first making her see you as sexy, will get you rejected 9 times out of 10.
When it do it right, that line works every time. It's great because after telling her that she's sexy, there’s no need for either of you to be shy when it comes to talking about sex or hinting at it with flirting. There's no need to pretend that there isn't a sexual attraction between you and because of that, sex talk, flirting and innuendos will just flow freely between you as you chat and escalate to physical touch and kissing. However, if you have not properly attracted the woman first or if you don’t say it with real confidence, it won’t work as well. Watch the two videos below to fully understand what I mean.
Talking About Sex With a Woman You Already Know
If you don’t have the confidence to pull of a statement like, “You’re sexy. I like you” then just focus on flirting and creating sexual tension that way. Flirting is a subtle language that is spoken between a man and woman, which essentially communicates, “Hey, I want to sex with you. Do you want to have sex with me?” without EVER having to say that or ask that type of question.
You can flirt with a woman via your body language, behavior, words, vibe and actions. A classic example of using words to flirt with a woman and bring up sex while talking to her is when she says something in a conversation like, “I’m good with my hands.” To flirt with her, your response needs to be a confident smile and a bit of a laugh, then say, “Ohhhhh, okay…” and then just let her realize what has just happened. If she likes you and is open to flirting with you (i.e. speaking in a subtle, indirect way about sex), then she will keep going on with the joke about being good with her hands and will become sexually suggestive.
Taking the Next Step
Once the flirting has opened up the channels of communication and both you and the woman know where the interaction is heading (i.e. to kissing, sex or at least the exchange of contact details), talking about having sex will begin coming up naturally when you speak, because both you and the woman will now know that it is appropriate and fun to talk about sex with each other.
However, don’t make the newbie mistake of just talking about sex, sex, sex. Although she has given the “green light” to begin talking about sex, you still need to classy about it, by being discreet and subtle. You should only talk about sex sparingly and then get back to connecting with her or escalating to kissing and actual sex, because even if a woman is 100% open and willing to have sex with you, most don't want to be talking about it openly in front of others.
Mistakes That Guys Make When They Want to Bring Up Sex When Talking to a Woman
The way that I bring up sex with a woman is “however the heck I want” because I am a confident, alpha male and no matter how challenging a woman may be to test me, I never flinch or get nervous. When I bring up with sex when talking to a woman, I have the confidence to talk about their breasts, butt and anything else I want to talk about…even if I have only just met the girl. For me, it doesn't matter because I have been at the mastery level of skill with women for years. See: What is Your Skill Level With Women?
However, if you’re not at the mastery level of skill with women, then you will need to focus on getting all of the fundamentals right. Since your confidence and skill with women isn't mastery level, your mistakes will appear louder and more obvious to the woman and it will turn her off. Watch this video to understand fully. For now, let’s have a look at some of the mistakes that guys make when bringing up sex when talking to a woman:
1. Being too pushy: Often, a guy becomes so eager to close the deal that he becomes pushy and demanding about it. He feels insecure about the situation because he knows he is getting lucky and wants to make sure that he acts fast before she changes her mind. Although she might be interested in having sex with him to begin with, if he pushes and she feels his desperation, she will be turned off immediately.
2. Not using flirting to open up the channels of attraction: Subtle flirting and sexual innuendo is a turn on for most women and guys who don’t know how to incorporate flirting, teasing and innuendos in their conversation will never be able to pick up women at will. Most guys out there will try to bring up sex when talking to a woman BEFORE they have established proper attraction by opening up the flirting channel between them. If the woman doesn't know where he is planning on going with her (i.e. he’s just acting like a nice friend), she will be confused and will not respond favorably to sexual conversation.
3. Not using sexual body language to turn her on: Sexual body language is a vital component of the human mating dance; too little and she won’t respond, too much and she’ll feel threatened or like the guy is being sleazy. Knowing the right amount of sexual body language to use is a subtle art (I teach that art in Alpha Male Power). Touching appropriately is sexy and will turn her on, but touching in the wrong way will completely ruin the whole mating dance and cause the woman to either reject the guy or retreat from him because she feels uncomfortable.
4. Putting her on a pedestal and expecting her to take the lead: If a guy has low self esteem and low self confidence, he will feel as though most women are better than him and that it is their decision whether or not they choose him. When a guy like this talks to an attractive woman and she happens to show sexual interest, he messes it up by waiting for her to make the next move and initiate sex. He’s too afraid to get rejected because he lacks confidence in himself, so he just let’s great opportunities slip through his fingers. Instead of having sex with a real woman and experiencing a real life, he goes home to jerk off to porn and hope that, one day, a woman will like him enough to make the first move.
5. Following bad advice: Most guys aren't awesome with women and the ones who are rarely give real advice to others. So, don't expect anyone (other than me) to tell you the real way to be successful with women. I'm obviously successful with women
6. Acting nervous and insecure: Even though he is talking to a woman and having a good time, as soon as the interaction gets more intense and it becomes time to take it to the next level, he gets nervous and loses his confidence because he doesn't know what to do next. Inevitably she picks up on his nervousness and has a change of heart about having sex with him, and he is back to square one. Why? Women are attracted to the strength in men, not the weakness. So, showing signs of emotional weakness and insecurity is a huge turn off for women.
7. Thinking he has to talk about sex to get sex: Some guys assume that if they talk about sex, then they will get sex. However, women are much more subtle than that and they require you to have a higher level of social intelligence and awareness of women and the human mating dance. If you don’t have that awareness, understanding and skill, most women will reject you.
Closing the Deal
If you are doing everything right, bringing up sex in a conversation doesn't have to happen at all. When you use the right conversation techniques and pay attention to the subtle nuances of the mating dance, sex will happen all by itself without you having to ever discuss it.
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