Most guys are attracted to the all-night, uber-party girl. But eventually, our focus shifts toward someone with whom we can settle down.

Typically, we look for the wholesome, naturally pretty, more demure female who we've come to know as "the girl next door." Somehow she embodies all of our more mature and tamer instincts: marriage, children and tender companionship. The main difference in our thinking is that her qualities are just as important to us as her looks.

But the million-dollar question is: does she really exist or has the collective male psyche created her only to be an unattainable dream? Let's find out why this down-home cutie is on our fantasy list and discover what we can do to confirm or debunk the myth of the girl next door.
Who Is The Girl Next Door?
First, allow me to define her.

Every guy may have his specific girl-next-door prototype, but in general, she's the girl whom you always admired from afar and were afraid to approach, fearing that any erotic projection toward her would ruin her image as a decent, pure and almost virginal womanly ideal. Think of Renee Zellweger's character in Jerry Maguire .

She's (in your mind at least) untrodden ground; unspoiled by other men and so sweet-natured it almost frightens you to think of her in explicit sexual situations. Almost . Here's another example: Picture your sister's best friend from when you were kids. In your mind she'll always be that 10-year-old cutie who played with you in the park. Only, when you catch up with her 10 years later, she's still a cutie, but all grown up and someone you can trust and connect with on so many new levels. The intrigue grows.

Similarly, she could be a friend's cousin whom you met at family occasions over the years. Or even a new employee at work who is shy and unassuming, but still gives you that "she seems so nice, I'd love to talk to her" feeling.

Get the picture yet?
What Do We Like About Her?
There are so many characteristics of the girl-next-door type that qualify as "good" or virtuous. These are things we've come to look for in a woman, which earn the respect of our male sensitive side.

She's a homebody. She cooks, cleans and is not afraid of being at home, helping out with chores. Plus, she's not a fan of clubbing. She thinks the nightclub scene consists of horny drunks and game players who don't live honestly. And after all the not-so-great game players you've dated, this is a refreshing, alluring and potentially life-altering change for your dating scenario.

She's nurturing and sweet. Unlike so many of the women you've dated who had militant stances against being nice to you simply because you were a man, she's understanding of your needs and is willing to take care of you when you're sick. Her sweet demeanor -- and knowing that what goes around comes around -- makes you want to be with her and take care of her in kind.

She doesn't attract attention. She's "under the radar," so to speak. Guys won't hit on her everywhere you go; not because she's unattractive, but because she prefers to remain low-key, both in her appearance and her attitude. She's neither a flirt nor is she flashy; but she has that natural beauty that doesn't require coats of makeup.

She's predictable, but this could also be one of her flaws..


She's predictable and safe. What you see is what you get. You'll always know where you stand with her, as well as where she stands on any given topic. There's no guesswork involved and that makes her a welcome change from all the women who've played head games with you before.

She's low maintenance. This is one of her best qualities. You won't have to constantly buy her jewelry and other such gifts to keep her interested. She even enjoys just slumming-it for a night in or out with you. Jeans and a T-shirt are fashionable enough for a stroll around town. But here's the kicker: when the occasion calls for it, she dresses to the nines.

She has family values. Because she comes from a solid family upbringing, she believes in the importance of family. If you ever want to be a dad, this is the woman you want as the mother of your children.

She has a good personality. Although this is not something you'd want to hear about someone you're meeting on a blind date, the girl next door is easygoing and able to joke around with you about all kinds of topics. You can go anywhere with her and never get annoyed. She doesn't complain, but she does speak her mind honestly and with respect for your feelings.

She's trustworthy and reliable. You can take her word to the bank. If she tells you she is going to do something or be somewhere, it's set in stone. You could give her your credit cards and never worry that she'll overspend. Now that's a headache you'll be glad to avoid.
So What's Wrong With Her?
You know the old adage, "if it's too good to be true, it probably is"? That can also apply to the girl next door. Despite all the good qualities that I've ascribed to her, there are still some things to take into consideration -- things that may displace her from the pedestal I've so readily put her on.

She's not a challenge. Let's face it; after some time with her, you may become bored. If you usually enjoy the spice that comes with a certain amount of frustration in a relationship, then she will not be the one to scratch the confrontational itch. Once you have her, the chase is over and you may eventually view her as a steadfast nuisance more than the sweet girl you thought you found.

She's predictable and safe. If you don't like spontaneity, then this isn't a problem. However, because she will never waver from the tried and true habits and experiences, you might have a problem spicing up your relationship just when you feel it's most crucial to do so. Can you say vanilla sex ?

She might be playing you. The worst possible thing to discover is that this was all an act. She really is that wild child party girl who sucked you in with the "nice girl" facade, and all of a sudden, you're back playing the same relationship games that drove you to her in the first place.
Knock On Her Door
By now you surely know why you've been smitten with the girl-next-door type. It shouldn't be too hard to get out there and ask for a cup of sugar from that sweet thing who moved in across the hall or street. After all those women who messed with your heart before, it's now time to get some stable, honest, neighborly love.