So what's a guy to do when he's feeling neglected, trapped, unappreciated, or generally underwhelmed with his current relationship? Why, take a break, of course. Well, at least think about a break...

While some (read: the girlfriend) may think that spending time apart is an extreme measure, it might be just what the doctor ordered. Whether you want to keep your options open or send her a sign th
at she needs to change her attitude, breathing space could make or break the relationship.
Reasons For The Break
It helps to think this through first. Don't just go off and say, "I'm outta here" without weighing your options and giving due consideration to your girlfriend's feelings. Always remember that it helps to talk about this with her. However, if talking gets you nowhere, then it's time to move on to plan B: the break.

That said, the reasons for needing/wanting a break are diverse and could affect guys differently depending on the level of commitment and communication already established with their ladies.

Here are some of the most common:

Things are moving too fast (or too slow)
She may be pressuring you to commit way too soon. Conversely, you may be waiting for her to show signs that she's as into you as you are her. Either way, your speeds are mismatched and the longer you wait, the more apparent it becomes.

Things are getting stale
The same old routine day in and day out has you going stir-crazy. She refuses to change her patterns or try anything new with you. This can seriously cramp your style and may make you reconsider how much longer you can actually take her. If you can't enjoy each other's hobbies or passions and explore new ones together, it may be time for some breathing space.

You think you've fallen out of love (or "like")
What can I say about this one? It happens. For some reason, the magic or chemistry you initially experienced fades after the "honeymoon" phase and you no longer have the same feelings for her. To put it simply, you don't think about her when she's not around and you could probably go days without getting together with her.

She no longer respects you
No matter what you say or do, she just doesn't listen to or respect your opinions anymore. This would be tough for anyone to stomach, but think about why this could have happened: Have you changed? Has your ambition disappeared? Think about this one hard before requesting time apart.

Whether you're sexually incompatible or you want to play the field, check out what's prompting your need for a hiatus.


You want her to miss you
You might feel like she's taking you for granted. Have you been her doormat lately? Think about whether there's been a serious imbalance of compromises or chores -- a break could be the wake-up call she needs to realize just what she has.

You feel smothered
She clings to you everywhere you go. Friends can't see you alone, your phone time is interrupted by her, and you can't even enjoy "alone time" by yourself anymore because she simply doesn't give you space. So give yourself some and at the same time, let her know you need this for your sanity's sake.

You're not sexually compatible
Rough, very rough. That's how you like it and she absolutely wants nothing to do with it. Or perhaps you enjoy nice ol' vanilla sex and she just keeps slicing your back open with her fingernails every time you're doing it. Whatever the specific incompatibility, this is huge. Sex is an integral part of any relationship and if you can't enjoy it or she's not receptive to talking about it, do some re-evaluating.

You want to see what else is out there
You simply may not be ready to settle for one woman yet. Maybe you need to see other people to re-invigorate waning confidence in yourself. Or maybe you're questioning whether she's "The One." The only way to know for sure might be to experience other women and find out (the hard way, mind you) just what you had when she's gone.

Your friends point out that you've been miserable lately
This one is a little tougher to pinpoint and thus requires some extra "deep thought" exercises. A multitude of reasons could be aversely affecting your sense of well-being. But before you jump to conclusions about your relationship, think about your job, your family, and the other pressures you face daily. Has your girlfriend proven that she's a brick wall for you to lean on when the going gets tough, or is she the wrecking ball swinging toward you?
Points To Establish
Make sure you discuss all of these for clarity's sake. There's nothing worse than getting your distance at the cost of misinterpreted reasoning and thus destroying any chance of reconciliation (if that's what you're ultimately aiming for) later on. Ask yourself these three questions before going through with this:

How long will the break be? Think of an appropriate amount of time that you feel will allow you to explore your relationship and why you've taken this measure. Make it clear to her that after this time, you'd like to talk again and see how each of you feels. At this point, you'll know for certain if another go at the relationship is worth it or doomed to fail.

Do you cut all contact? Make sure you mutually agree to the frequency of contact. If there is to be zero contact, lay that on the table. If you think you should still talk once a week to check up on each other, tell her. You may have shared a lot together and there's no need to keep her up at night, thinking about how you're doing... unless of course, this is exactly why you wanted the break -- so that she can realize how much she'll miss you when you're out of reach.

Make sure to establish whether you can date other people.


Can you see other people? Depending on the reasons behind the break (see page one), you want to be unmistakably clear about this point. You must realize that if you get to sow your wild oats, so does she. If you can handle the thought of her romping around with other men, then by all means, game on. But if you experience any doubts about this liberty while spending time apart, you must address this before parting ways. It's often very difficult to start over once you've crossed this line.
Expect Various Reactions
Keep in mind that suggesting a break is taken more seriously when you're not fighting. Furthermore, you must be aware that taking a break or even bringing it up can cause irreparable harm to your relationship. So don't make such a decision in the heat of the moment.

That said, asking for a break is no easy task. If your woman has no idea this is coming, chances are she won't take it well, so it's a good idea to prepare for a vast array of emotional reactions.

These include:

She wants to talk about it. Indulge her; maybe she didn't know how you felt and things can still be salvaged... together . But remind her (if applicable) that you have already tried to talk to her before and her indifference led you to this drastic measure.

She throws a tantrum/cries. Remember to stay calm. She hasn't had the same amount of time to think about this. Even if you both know that something is wrong with your relationship, this is news to her and could spark quite the outburst of indignation and flying dinnerware. She may have no idea where you're coming from, so be understanding.

If you live together, she might throw you out of the house. Let her. Cool off for a few days and then see how you both feel. Just prepare a suitcase beforehand so she doesn't spill all your stuff on the lawn.

She gives you the cold shoulder. She may be internalizing her anger/sadness. She may feel badly, or expect you to try and talk to her. Don't take the bait. This could be a good thing, as she may finally have to think about why you would even want time apart. In addition, her friends (or mutual friends) may gang up on you and press you to explain yourself. Don't talk to her through them. Besides, they'll most likely distort anything you say. Remember; anything you say can be used against you in a court of law. Her court. So remain silent.
Make The Right Decision
If you realize that you need a healthy break from your sweetheart, suck it up and tell her. You may lose what you have together, but it might be worth the loss if you needed the break in the first place.

Can a break really do more good than harm? You be the judge. Your situation may warrant the break, but always be mindful of the fact that this is a watershed in your relationship, the fallout from which is never easily determined over the short term.

Be sure to explain to your girlfriend why you need a timeout. She might even rectify the problem without having to take the actual break. And wouldn't that be a nice break?