You might think that having easy access to contact women via e-mail, Facebook, online dating and phone texts would INCREASE a guy’s chances of success, right?
Not at all. Most guys unknowingly turn women off when they text them, just like they do when talking to a woman in person if they don’t do it correctly. So, all of the extra access to “chat to women” amounts to the same old rejection, loneliness and confusion.


Instead of giving you a list of terrible texts, I'm going to explain where guys go wrong when texting and why it turns women off. Why? To create a list of bad texts for you would not be accurate because what may be a bad text from ONE GUY, will be a funny and exciting text from ANOTHER GUY. It's just like how, in person, a joke from one guy doesn't sound funny, but when another guy says it, people find it hilarious, charming and cool and they crack up laughing. Understand?

So, any website that gives you a “Top 10 list" of "bad" texts is simply providing you with amateur advice that has not been properly thought through or researched. Don't be fooled into thinking that being a cool, confident and charming guy is as simple as reading a "top 10" list. Being a cool guy starts from within and if your head is full of insecurities, fears, neediness and anxiety regarding women you will NOT come across as "cool" until you fix that. Know that I've explained that, you now can probably work out the answer as to why women will LOVE a text from one guy but HATE the exact same text from another. Right? If you don't yet know the answer, read on and it will come to you.


While some women like texting and are open to a bit of back and forth chat via text, it doesn't mean that she doesn't want to talk on the phone. When you talk on the phone, you can attract her 10x more and escalate to a date 10x faster in most cases. If you always text because you're too afraid to call, then it will usually backfire. Here's why...

When some guys get a woman’s phone number, they aim to keep their contact with her strictly “at hands length” by only texting rather than calling her and having a funny, interesting and enjoyable conversation before arranging a real date. When a guy does this, a woman will begin to wonder why he keeps sending messages back and forth but doesn’t seem to want to meet with her in person. If she's experienced enough with men or is a bit of a “natural” at understanding men, she’ll recognize that what he’s really showing her is his insecurity about having that face-to-face encounter. The realization about his lack of confidence will be a major turn-off for her and she'll begin to wonder whether he's just another wimpy guy who is afraid of women and rejection.

Eventually, the woman will stop replying and hope that the guy “gets the message,” so to speak. The guy can continue using every bit of technological communication at his disposal to try to regain her attention, but it will be pointless in most cases. He’s already shown her that he’s too scared and immature to have a real relationship and no matter what he does to try to regain her attention, his opportunity with her is likely lost forever. Today’s modern woman is looking for a confident, personable man who wants to meet her, engage her in a lively, interesting and fun conversation, flirt with her, kiss her and get her into bed for some hot sex. She’s not looking for yet another “keyboard buddy” or a guy who is so afraid of women that he hides behind text messages and smiley face emoticons.


It’s one thing for a guy to text a woman he’s dating if he needs to make a last-minute change of plans, is running late for a date or for some other minor matter, but if a man is texting to set up a date with a woman rather than using his phone to call her, many women will be turned off. Sure, some girls like it because they are too shy to talk as well, however, most women, especially beautiful women, get annoyed by guys who try to organize everything via text.

When texting becomes a man’s primary form of communication with a woman, it can make her think that she’s apparently not important enough for him to call her or she may realize that he’s simply too nervous to call her to have a brief conversation with her to set up a date. What most guys don’t understand is that texts don’t create the same interpersonal appeal a woman craves that only can be accomplished by hearing a man’s voice on the phone or in person. They don’t know that listening to a man’s voice is gets a woman sexually excited and turns her on. I remember realizing this after several women commented how sexy my voice sounded when I called them. However, I've never heard a woman say, “Your text writing style is so sexy!”


It's okay to use SOME slang and abbreviations when writing text messages. However, these days, a lot of guys have been sucked into the girly, childish style of writing texts. It doesn't matter if the guy is intelligent, successful or cool, he can just as easily be a victim of this immature writing style which started when pre-teen and early teen girls began writing text messages years ago.

This is where I will make an exception and kind of give you a “list” of bad texts. Why? Any text in this writing style is lame. It's boyish, immature and it is a trend that was started by little GIRLS! If you want to copy little girls, then go ahead and text women like this:

“I m late c u in 20.”

“What r u doin? Idk wat 2 do”

“c u l8r”

Presumably, you wouldn’t send a text like that to a client or boss, would you? When texting your boss or an important client, you'd want to show your maturity, right? When texting a woman, do you want to show her your immaturity or maturity? If you do send little girl texts, a woman will either think you lack intelligence and/or an education or you like behaving like a boy instead of a man and will likely become needy, clingy and feminine if she has a relationship with you. Personally, I've only ever sent that style of text as a JOKE to some guy friends because they know how lame it is and are aware that it was a trend started by LITTLE GIRLS who were trying to be “cool.”

Recently, a 25 year old guy contacted me via The Modern Man and asked for dating advice like this, “hey dan...i nid u 2 tel me wat u do to gt such hot chiqs.” He was from Africa, where the "girly text" trend is pretty popular among texters. However, despite it's popularity in Africa or anywhere else, it still isn't cool and is NOT attractive to women. I replied and told him that I could only help him if he wrote to me properly, instead of writing like a little boy/girl. I also let him know that women do NOT find that writing style impressive...at all. It's not cool or sexy, it's immature and is a trend that was started by little girls.

I realize that some guys reading along now might be a bit confused because they KNOW of a few guys who write like that and DO get laid. Why is that? It is NOT because they write like a little girl when they text. It is because they are confident and masculine with women in REAL LIFE and so women can put up with a few minor mistakes like that. However, if you're NOT confident and masculine around women in real life and then you write like a girl, women will NOT give you a "free pass" and let your mistake slide. This time, they will think, "This guy is more like a girl than some of my friends. No thanks!"

So, if girls are writing texts to you in that way - what should you do instead? Write properly! Even if a girl/woman writes to you in that girly style of text, write back like a mature, masculine guy. For example:

Girl: “hey...wat u doin? i wana c u...do u lyke me 2?”
Man: “Yeah, you're alright. I'll let you see me soon.”

Don't write:

Girl: “hey...wat u doin? i wana c u...do u lyke me 2?”
Man (boy?): “i lyke u 2. im doin nothin...i wana cu 2”

The second example looks like TWO GIRLS texting each other. If you write like a girl and act like a girl, how do you expect her to be attracted to your manliness? If you don't know how to behave like a man, watch Better Than a Bad Boy. Or, if you like behaving like a little boy, you can look forwaed to continued rejection by women you want and if you happen to get into a relationship by luck, you can expect to quickly lose interest in having sex with you after the initial "novelty lust" dies off. Then, expect her to say, "I just want to tell you that I don't want anything serious, okay? I'm not ready for that right now" or “I need some space. I think we should take some time apart.” read: My Girlfriend Said She Needs Space. Women and girls want guys who behave like MEN, not like little girly boys who want to be cute and sweet like a little girl.


Some desperate guys will go so far as to stay in CONSTANT contact with a woman by sending her an endless number of texts. Guys like this want to keep themselves on the woman's mind, but they end up annoying her like a pest. He’ll text “cute” funny messages, tell her how much he misses her, send her love poems, love messages and so forth. He’ll think he’s being romantic and is doing the right thing. However, if SHE hasn’t started this type of communication to show her feelings for him first, she won’t be charmed by his texts. Instead she’ll take this type of constant contact as a sign of how desperate he is. She’ll also likely think that he must not have enough going on in his life that he has all this free time to constantly text her. That mindset is all she’ll need to realize that he isn’t the type of guy she wants in her life. All women dream of being with a man who is charismatic, strong, confident and sexually appealing to the point where he KNOWS he can have other women, but decides to CHOOSE her. They don't sit around dreaming about desperate, wimpy guys who don't have anything else to do but text her all night. If you are a guy who has no other options with women because you got lucky with this woman and other women don't find you appealing because you lack confidence and don't know how to make them feel sexual attraction, don't blow your opportunity by being a needy, desperate guy. Calm down and go through a natural, sexual courtship rather than a desperate, needy attempt at a courtship.


Often, the same guys who send women text after text will expect her to reply to the messages immediately. If she doesn’t answer or respond in some way within minutes (much less hours or days), he goes into panic mode and starts wondering what might be wrong. He thinks, “Oh, no! She doesn't like me anymore! Maybe she likes someone else!” After that, he'll increase the frequency of his texts to make sure he is constantly on her radar. He may even feel compelled to send a desperate message like, “Hey, I sent you a message yesterday. Why haven't you replied?” not realizing that some people have a life and don't have time to be messing around with text messages every day.

Guys like this will spend most of their time worrying why the woman isn't responding, not realizing that women hate guys who worry like that. He might even send a text asking if he has done something to upset her or if she is seeing someone else. If she doesn't reply and he keeps trying to reach out to her, the woman’s attraction for him will diminish with each new text until she does send one final text saying, “Stop sending me messages!”

Some guys reading along now will be thinking, “So, what should I do instead?” and if you're one of those guys, you obviously don't know that women WANT you to make THEM chase YOU. If you want easy and consistent success with women, you need to make women feel SO MUCH attraction and interest in you that THEY pursue YOU. If you try to pursue women, especially beautiful women, they will almost always play hard to get. If you become desperate in response to the woman playing hard to get, she will almost always reject you.