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About Us
- The Contemporary Man/ T. Miller
- At The Contemporary Man's, we guarantee that you will succeed with women and get the results you want from your dating life when you use our proven system for success with women called 'Dating Power'. You simply cannot fail when you use our tested techniques for success with women. We have spent the last 5 years testing and refining our method for success with women by: Approaching, dating and being in relationships with modern women ourselves. Coaching over 650 guys in person and literally showing them how to approach and pick up women using our natural style. Testing our techniques in all sorts of social environments, including parties, workplaces, nightclubs, cafes, shopping malls and bookstores to name a few. Interviewing women from around the world and asking for their opinions on the modern dating and relationship scene. Researching all available studies, published documentation and theories in this field. Following up with guys that we'd coached to find out if they needed more advice as they become more successful with women. We then included the advanced advice in our products.
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Don't Look Desperate, Be Congruent
Is It True That A Woman Can Tell When A Man Is "Desperate"?
There's something about "desperation" that women pick up on... but it's not easy to describe.
Desperation comes across in all kinds of subtle ways, from how you talk to a woman to the eye contact that you make to how often you call her.
Women can "smell" it because women are approximately 10 times better at reading body language than men. Your body language says everything about you to a woman -- so if you want to get better at attracting women, you'd better start paying attention to it and taking control of it.
Start with your posture. Lift your chest. Lean back, not forward. Leaning forward is usually a "needy" signal. Leaning back is usually a signal of strength.
Slow down your movements. Fast movements convey nervousness and skittishness. Slow movements convey self-control and strength.
It's a good idea to take some time to study the body language of guys who are successful with women. Watch closely and pay attention to everything. Even though something doesn't seem like it's important, it probably is.
I have a good friend who holds his drink a certain way when he's talking to a woman that he's interested in. He does it almost every time.
Is it important? You do the math.
What does "congruent" mean and what do women think of my advice?
In The Past, You've Mentioned That Guys Need To Be "Congruent." Could You Explain What That Means?
The idea of being "congruent" when you communicate simply means to have all levels of your communication "in alignment" with each other and "saying the same thing."
If you're asking a woman for her number, but you're looking around nervously and hesitating, it's not "congruent."
On the other hand, if you're saying "Write down your e-mail and number for me" while taking out a pen and paper, as if it's the 147th time that you've done it, it's congruent.
Most people don't realize that they're sending mixed messages all the time.
Have you ever asked someone "What's wrong?" and had them say, "Nothing's wrong! Why does everyone keep asking me what's wrong?"
That's a mixed message. And it's not congruent. You want to "line up" all of your communication: your body language, voice tone, words, etc.
All of the different specific body language, voice tones and gestures that I recommend in my programs have a single goal in mind: to help you be 100% congruent when you are communicating with women.
The more congruent you are, and the more you use the techniques that I'm teaching, the better your responses from women will become.
What Do Women Think About Your Materials?
I've found that women hate the idea that guys are doing anything "intentionally" to become more successful in the dating world.
Anything that has to be "learned" really freaks some women out. (As a side note, I've found that most of the women I've talked to in person about my ideas were okay with them. On occasion, a woman will freak out, but after they actually get what I'm talking about, they almost universally like the ideas).
The real profound insight that I've had relating to this topic is that women will often say that they want one thing, but then when they get it, they seem like they don't want it.
On the other hand, women will often say that they don't like certain types of guys or certain traits, then they'll turn around and sleep with one of those exact guys.
Keep in mind that we're talking about women here, and I don't mean to pick on them. The fact is that guys have their own set of bizarre behaviors too. But since everyone is reading these mailbags to learn about how to attract women, we're going to have to skip this discussion -- wink, wink -- of these guys.
And if you doubt that what we're talking about here works, just ask yourself these questions:
1) Is what you're currently doing working?
2) Isn't it worth the risk to try anything else if there's even a chance that it will actually work?
There's something about "desperation" that women pick up on... but it's not easy to describe.
Desperation comes across in all kinds of subtle ways, from how you talk to a woman to the eye contact that you make to how often you call her.
Women can "smell" it because women are approximately 10 times better at reading body language than men. Your body language says everything about you to a woman -- so if you want to get better at attracting women, you'd better start paying attention to it and taking control of it.
Start with your posture. Lift your chest. Lean back, not forward. Leaning forward is usually a "needy" signal. Leaning back is usually a signal of strength.
Slow down your movements. Fast movements convey nervousness and skittishness. Slow movements convey self-control and strength.
It's a good idea to take some time to study the body language of guys who are successful with women. Watch closely and pay attention to everything. Even though something doesn't seem like it's important, it probably is.
I have a good friend who holds his drink a certain way when he's talking to a woman that he's interested in. He does it almost every time.
Is it important? You do the math.
What does "congruent" mean and what do women think of my advice?
In The Past, You've Mentioned That Guys Need To Be "Congruent." Could You Explain What That Means?
The idea of being "congruent" when you communicate simply means to have all levels of your communication "in alignment" with each other and "saying the same thing."
If you're asking a woman for her number, but you're looking around nervously and hesitating, it's not "congruent."
On the other hand, if you're saying "Write down your e-mail and number for me" while taking out a pen and paper, as if it's the 147th time that you've done it, it's congruent.
Most people don't realize that they're sending mixed messages all the time.
Have you ever asked someone "What's wrong?" and had them say, "Nothing's wrong! Why does everyone keep asking me what's wrong?"
That's a mixed message. And it's not congruent. You want to "line up" all of your communication: your body language, voice tone, words, etc.
All of the different specific body language, voice tones and gestures that I recommend in my programs have a single goal in mind: to help you be 100% congruent when you are communicating with women.
The more congruent you are, and the more you use the techniques that I'm teaching, the better your responses from women will become.
What Do Women Think About Your Materials?
I've found that women hate the idea that guys are doing anything "intentionally" to become more successful in the dating world.
Anything that has to be "learned" really freaks some women out. (As a side note, I've found that most of the women I've talked to in person about my ideas were okay with them. On occasion, a woman will freak out, but after they actually get what I'm talking about, they almost universally like the ideas).
The real profound insight that I've had relating to this topic is that women will often say that they want one thing, but then when they get it, they seem like they don't want it.
On the other hand, women will often say that they don't like certain types of guys or certain traits, then they'll turn around and sleep with one of those exact guys.
Keep in mind that we're talking about women here, and I don't mean to pick on them. The fact is that guys have their own set of bizarre behaviors too. But since everyone is reading these mailbags to learn about how to attract women, we're going to have to skip this discussion -- wink, wink -- of these guys.
And if you doubt that what we're talking about here works, just ask yourself these questions:
1) Is what you're currently doing working?
2) Isn't it worth the risk to try anything else if there's even a chance that it will actually work?
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