I know aphrodisiacs are supposed to boost your sex drive, but what exactly are they? Could you recommend a natural aphrodisiac for my wife? Nothing too strong, just something to boost her desire a bit.

-Andrew

Dear Andrew,

The word Aphrodisiac means exciting sexual desire and most probably came from the Greek goddess of love, Aphrodite. They take the form of various foods, animal parts, and herbs that are believed to increase desire.

Sushi, oysters, and strawberries and chocolate are several foods that are thought to affect desire. Ginseng is considered to be an aphrodisiac by the Chinese because of the phallic shape of its roots.

Another popular stimulant is known as Spanish Fly. It comes from the green blister beetle of southern Europe. The beetles secrete an irritant liquid called cantharidin that stimulates the genitals. I strongly suggest you stay away from this, as it is poisonous.

Medically, these aphrodisiacs are not proven to have any affect. However, there does exist a placebo effect, whereby one thinks they will be aroused, so they are. So, if there is something you believe will help, go ahead and give it a try; it can't hurt. For more ideas on getting her aroused, see this article on Simple Things That Give Women Pleasure.

My husband has recently been been chatting on those love lines and having cybersex with women. They send him e-mail, and the other day, I actually read one of them. He got very angry and has since then opened up a personal e-mail account that I can't access.

I feel violated, but he tells me I shouldn't worry about anything, and that it means nothing. I don't know what to do.

Hurting Inside

Dear Hurting,

It's perfectly normal to feel strange about the whole situation; online cheating can hurt as much as the real thing. Like you already did, it's now time to have a real confrontation with him and let him know exactly how you feel.

Don't hold back and tell him that you're ready to seek counselling, if need be. Simply coming down on him will not heal the situation, but rather get him on the defensive.

Stand your ground and make sure he hears you out. You might want to check out this interesting article on Cybersex, which discusses whether it's considering cheating or not.

I have heard of people "double-bagging." Does it really help to wear two condoms instead of one? 

-Two Safe

Dear Two Safe,

While I commend you for wanting to be safe, two condoms are not necessary. This actually might even increase the risk because the condoms will be rubbing against each other, and the friction might cause a tear. If you really want to be extra safe, use spermicide along with a condom. You are much better off using one condom, but make sure you are using it properly.

Here are some rules to follow:

1. Always use latex condoms. Don't store condoms in the glove compartment or your wallet. Don't use them after the expiration date and don't open the package with your teeth.

2. Put the condom on after you become erect. Put a few drops of water-based lubricant inside the tip of the condom.

3. Squeeze the tip of the condom to leave some extra space and roll the rest down the shaft.

4. If the penis has a foreskin, put the condom on with the foreskin pushed back. Once the shaft is covered, push the foreskin forward (toward the tip). This lets the foreskin move without breaking the condom.

4. Put more water-based lubricant on the outside of the condom.

5. After you ejaculate, hold the base of the condom and pull out. Throw the condom away; never reuse condoms.