What's The Best Way For A Guy To Approach A Woman In A Bar Without Her Thinking He's Coming On To Her?
In my book, Double Your Dating, I address this very issue. Here's the deal:

Guys want to know how to approach women in a way that seems natural and friendly, gets her attention, and doesn't make her think that he's coming on to her. Well, get over it. If you're in a bar, and you walk over and start talking to a woman, she's going to know what you're up to. Even if you're not interested in her, she's going to think you are. And there's nothing you can do to change that.

So, what's the answer?

Don't worry about excluding yourself from the rest of the guys -- just worry about whether or not she's still talking to you.

My perspective is that you can start out a conversation with a nice compliment, or a throwaway question like "What are you drinking?", and then, as soon as the conversation starts, go into cocky and funny mode and start teasing her like there's no tomorrow. Use your body language, tone of voice and humor to get her to wonder if you're interested in her.

It's not what you say, but how you say it. I get a ton of email with the question "What's a good pickup line?" included somewhere within. Again, it's not what, it's how.

You can have the best lines in the world, but if you come across as a weak, scared person, nothing will work for you. On the other hand, if you have confident, calm body language, then almost anything will be okay.

Just walk over and say, "Hi... you look like someone I want to meet."

If you say it with the right body language and tone of voice, and you talk to several women, you'll get some positive responses.

Is it different for really good-looking guys, and how can you ensure a successful pickup every time? Find out...


Do guys who are blessed with above-average looks need to use different strategies than "regular" guys?

If you're an unusually attractive guy, then my experience has shown me that there are certain things you need to do slightly differently.

It's still important to tease women and bust on them. I think that women assume that it's easier for handsome guys to get women, but if you're too rough on them, they might actually believe that you're not interested.

An average guy can tease a very attractive woman to the extreme, and the woman will usually feel more attracted to him and try harder to get his attention. If the woman believes that you're a big player, then I think she'll be more likely to think, "Oh, he's a player and can get any woman he wants, and I guess this means he's not interested in me." Just keep testing different things until you find what works for you and what fits your personality.

Remember the magic formula: Cocky & Funny. If you're just cocky, women will think you're an arrogant ass and won't want to be around you. If you're just funny, women will think that you're a goof and will only want to be your friend. Use both.
How Do You Suggest Guys Learn To Be "Cocky And Funny?"
When I first started learning how to be more successful with women, it wasn't "natural" for me to act cocky and funny, but I worked on it until it was natural.

Here are a few ideas for you:

1. Write down 10 common situations that you encounter dealing with women. Then write down three ways you can be more cocky and funny in each.

2. After you make your lists, begin to imagine and visualize the actual situations and how you will act when you encounter them in the future (this is what Olympic athletes do when training). This was a big piece for me.

3. After each encounter with a woman, review what happened, then imagine how you could have been more "cocky and funny" in that particular situation. Some people like to beat themselves up when things don't go the way they wanted. This is a huge mistake. It's much better to just ask yourself, "How could I have handled that situation better?" and "What can I do next time to make a woman feel more attracted to me?"