If you treat a woman like you’re on her level, you’ve got a chance with her. But if you act like she’s out of your league, then she will be.

Let’s say there are two guys at a party and they both like the same girl. Mr. Alpha walks right up to her and starts a conversation. Mr. Beta keeps glancing at her, but looks down every time she returns eye contact. After three drinks and an hour of psyching himself up, he finally approaches.

The woman doesn’t know either of these guys. Mr. Alpha acted like he thinks he is on her level. She may or may not agree—she’ll have to get to know him to find out. She doesn’t know Mr. Beta either, but he knows himself best, and if he doesn’t think he’s on her level, who is she to disagree?

So, how do you tell a woman that you’re on her level—even if she seems unattainable?

Be a challenge. Flirting is a game and she wants to play too. I know it’s hard to be a challenge when you’re really into someone; one thing I tell clients is to act as if you have ten other women in your social life who are just as pretty or amazing as her. Don’t say this to her. Just act like a man with options and see how it changes your behavior. For example:

1)    Tease and joke around with her

That unattainable woman you have a crush on is probably starved for someone to be genuine with her. Most people in her life probably resent her for her beauty, assume she’s a bitch, or suck up to her because they want something from her.

Tease her and joke around, like you might do with a younger female cousin who you like hanging out with. Don’t act like a jerk, but don’t walk on eggshells around her either. If you had options, you wouldn’t worry about accidentally offending someone.

2)    Don’t act too invested in her

Don’t answer every phone call or text right away. Don’t try to keep every conversation going until she ends it. A lot of guys get hurt or even resentful if a woman cancels on a date or doesn’t call them back. That tells her right away that she’s out of your league. You wouldn’t do this if you had a ton of other women in your life; guys who are on her level would just call another girl.

I’m not saying you have to put up with behavior you don’t like. But a guy with options wouldn’t lecture her about it; he’d just stop calling her. A lot of the time, she will be the one who gets back in touch.

3)    Project confidence

Speak slowly. Hold eye contact. Move deliberately and never waste a movement. Always act as if everything is going according to plan.

It’s impossible to decide to be confident. But what you can do is project confidence. She won’t know the difference. And when all else fails, remember those ten amazing women who want you so much.

4)    Don’t play tourist in her life

If you happen to meet the Playmate of the year or your favorite actress, don’t waste that opportunity by interviewing her about her life.

She can’t be attracted to you if she doesn’t know anything about you. (And don’t become the question guy.) If you connect with her, there will be plenty of time to learn every detail about her life later.

Most of the time, she isn’t out of your league. Love Systems’ clients have gone on to date supermodels, A-list actresses, even minor royalty. One great thing about being a man is your personality and lifestyle are more important to most women than your looks. Change the way you act and you’ll change the results you get.