I’m a loyal fan and I always recommend your articles to my guy friends. I met Shana four months ago on an online dating site. She’s 33 and a knockout. We hit it off and have been dating since. I always follow your rules and never contact her unless she reaches out to me, and we only go out about once a week. I’ve been working hard on being a Challenge, and it has paid off with this woman. Her Interest Level is high and she’ll do anything I ask. She always compliments me on how smart I am and talks as if we’re going to be together forever.

Now here’s where I think I went wrong. I started inviting Shana to some small social get-togethers with some of my friends. Everyone liked her and she seemed to have a blast. Two months ago, I planned a trip to a casino town to help my best friend celebrate his advanced degree (he’s 36). He was bringing his girlfriend, so I thought it would be a great idea to invite Shana along. Shana had never met my friend, but I suspect she had been checking out his Facebook page because at two separate points she mentioned to me that she had a dream and that my friend was in it. I thought it was odd since she had never met him but I played it cool and just laughed it off, but it stuck in my head.

Now, usually Shana dresses very casually. But when we left for this trip, she showed up at my place dressed to kill: short skirt, fresh pedicure/manicure, hair perfect, etc. I was like, "Wow! You look great — but for a car ride?" My fears were confirmed when they met. I could tell immediately that Shana was very attracted to my friend and it was difficult for her to hide it. She was giving him all kinds of signals, intently focusing on anything he said, asking questions, following him around, being provocative, and I would catch her staring at him regularly. Thank God this was only a one-day trip, but I was hurt. I found it difficult to hide my attitude that night, though I never said why I had it.

I was so angry that when we got to my place and we all said our goodbyes, Shana came inside, and I simply packed up the little stuff she had at my house and handed it to her. She teared up a bit, and I apologized for being distant the night before. I never explained to her why I was upset because I assumed she must have known and she never asked me why or what was wrong. I swore to myself I would never contact Shana again because she disrespected me in front of my friends. I’m the guy she was supposed to be trying to impress, and I’m the dummy who paid the bill for her to be along for the trip.

The absence of contact for the past week has been eating me up, though, and now I’m wondering if I should have sat Shana down and explained to her why I was upset and why I ended it. I’m not sure I would have been able to do it without sounding insecure or like a wuss. So Doc, did I do the right thing? Do you think Shana knew what was up? If she reaches out to me, should I tell her she embarrassed me or do I need to close the door on this and never speak to her again?

Portnoy - who has a lot to complain about