consider myself an average 27-year-old guy from Texas. I have a good job and I am looking for a serious relationship. My problem is that all the women I attract are either extremely jealous, possessive or just plain psycho. The other problem I have is that when in bed, I'm also usually psycho. 

Jonathan

Dear Jonathan,

Being aggressive in bed has more to do with psychological factors than with physiological ones. Aggressive behavior in bed is normal and often enticing for women, but you shouldn't mistake a woman's arousal via your animalistic side, with a woman wanting to be violently attacked. There are differences, and you should be careful that your aggressive sexual behavior does not spill over into other aspects of your love life.

As for meeting women with violent or possessive tendencies, we often attract the kind of people that fit into a mold of what we project to the world. The fact that you meet women that seem to fit your aggressive nature might be an indication that your approach and persona need to be modified to the type of person you want to attract.

I recently broke up with my boyfriend, because I didn't think things were working out (my fault). Every time he wanted to have sex, I would come up with some excuse to stop him from going any further. I realized a couple of days ago that I love him, and I don't know what to do. I think I might have lost my chance. We broke up about a month ago. I see him every day, and I miss him so much. I'm afraid if I say anything, he won't even feel comfortable being my friend. What can and should I do?

Jill

Dear Jill,

Listen very carefully ... leave him alone . You've put him through enough. Men are humans and animals; they need physical interaction as much as women do. Denying a man sex is a sure way to alienate him, and from my experience, a great way to make him think of other options (i.e. cheating). You might be able to get him back, but you eventually won't want him again. Don't play with his emotions; if he loves you, he will return.

If you do get back together, remember to discuss his concerns about sex with him. With an open dialogue, you might be able to figure out if there are any barriers -- past experiences, your childhood -- that are preventing you from getting sexually involved with your partner.

I often find myself fantasizing about other women while having sex with my wife. Sometimes I feel like I need to fantasize in order to enjoy sex. Is this normal? Am I cheating on her mentally? Should I tell her about these fantasies?

Fantasyman

Dear Fantasyman,

Let me start by saying that sexual fantasies are a normal human reaction. A recent survey done by Georgia Tech University showed that almost 80 percent of all men have fantasized about another woman during sex at some point in their lives. If a fantasy is what it takes for you to enjoy sex, so be it. It does not mean that you would or even have any desire to act out these fantasies. Fantasies can improve sex for both men and women. For men, fantasies can aid and improve erections, while they can add lubrication for women.

Fantasies can lead to a more creative sex life and improve orgasms for both sexes. There is absolutely no reason to feel guilty about your fantasies. If you feel more comfortable keeping them to yourself, you shouldn't feel compelled to tell your wife about them. If you do want to tell her, use your judgement on how she will react. If you think she will take it well, go ahead and tell her. Who knows, maybe she has fantasies to share with you .

If you feel she will get upset, save yourselves the trouble and keep it to yourself.