Think of a romance killer off the top of your head. Go on now. Erectile dysfunction? Sure. Bad breath? Good one. How about hives? Yes. But they all pale in comparison to one topic: the prenuptial agreement. Or do they?

A good lawyer or investment consultant will tell you that a prenuptial agreement is sound financial planning. Given the increase in the divorce rate, it is imperative to protect your assets before you walk down the aisle. After all, no matter how in love you are now, you have to at least entertain the possibility that it could end in divorce.
You Might Fall Hard
Depending on which figures you subscribe to, almost half of all marriages end that way. So why not erect a safety net? Protect yourself and your spouse from more acrimony down the road. Agree to a specific division of wealth now and save yourself a tremendous hassle in the event of divorce. This is what a legal expert would tell you. But is a marriage a business merger?

Many would argue in the affirmative. Marriage is the ultimate union of the emotional, the physical and the financial as well. What do couples young and old fight about more than anything else, with the possible exception of how to raise the children? Money, money and money. So with that in mind, it would make sense to have peace of mind beforehand and put down on paper how your assets will be distributed if the marriage should fail.

In essence, a version of the prenuptial agreement has existed in some cultures for thousands of years. When two clans or tribes were connected by marriage, the elder statesmen would sit down and hammer out an agreement to ensure the financial viability of both in the face of future discord. What could be more practical?

You likely need it more than Donald Trump does...


Not Just For The Rich
Yet what could be more in conflict with the spirit of marriage? Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue, and something notarized? There are some who cannot find a rationale for combining the pragmatic with the romantic.

Others refuse to entertain the thought of marriage without a legal document to protect them in the event of divorce. Donald Trump can attest to the value of a solid prenuptial agreement and if you were worth over a billion dollars, you would too. But then again, Trump can afford to lose a hundred million dollars or two.

Can the average middle-class man afford to lose half of his assets? The answer to that question is the justification many cite in order to explain the value of a prenuptial agreement to Joe Q. Public. While the Sultan of Brunei can drop a billion and not feel it, a man who has worked half of his life to accumulate a modest nest egg would guard it with his life if it were threatened in divorce court.
A Checklist Before Marriage
A lawyer would advise you to consider a prenuptial agreement if you:

1- Anticipate a large increase in income.
2- Plan to practice a lucrative profession in the future.
3- Have children from a previous marriage.
4- Own a business.
5- Plan on receiving a considerable inheritance.
6- Have a substantial portfolio of assets.
7- Lay claim to a much greater pool of wealth than your spouse.

Other important points to consider include:

Do it early -- this is a must. It would be ludicrous to spring the idea on your unsuspecting fiance as she is being fitted for her gown. Make it a priority to discuss it before the wedding is planned.

Be open and honest -- the topic could shock and upset anybody, so be prepared in advance. The key is not to become defensive or condescending. The value of the prenup may be obvious to you, but may not hold the same relevance to your potential partner. Everyone has a passionate opinion on the matter and if you try to beat her over the head with it, it could cause major strife.

Separate lawyers -- this could make for uncomfortable moments, but it is recommended. The downside is that it is symbolic of the potential opposition you will represent to one another should the marriage go sour. Now that is unromantic.

More points to consider and the real meaning behind a prenup.


Full disclosure -- whether it is intentional or not, failure to include all of your assets could render the contract null and void in court. So try not to forget those government bonds you received as a child for your birthday.

A detailed agreement -- you must both be taken care of in the event of divorce. A prenuptial agreement therefore is a matter of give and take and can include more than just financial terms. The contract can detail a number of clauses that disclose the terms of divorce, such as how children will be raised or who will receive certain wedding gifts. Just ensure not to raise the ire of a judge with unimportant and petty details.
An Unbearable Insurance Clause
There is no doubt that a prenuptial agreement has value and can save you heartache and considerable capital loss. But it is not for everyone, despite the fact that a hardened cynic and a lawyer worth his mettle would have everyone sign one before marriage.

Some people do not conform to social statistics and defy convention. Some people engage in a level of communication that would render a prenup useless because even in the event of divorce, they would never fight over money.

Some marriages can stand the test of time. Therefore, I believe that while an escape clause can hold value to some, a marriage is a precious and unique union that is not a business merger. That argument will no doubt be thrown back in defiance and used to justify the prenuptial agreement in the first place. But I still maintain that when two people are deeply in love and they feel that it is real, a prenuptial agreement could stain the marriage.

It could signal that you have a reservation about the marriage. That is in effect what a prenuptial agreement is, right? Marriage insurance in the face of doubt about the permanence of the union. If that is the case, why go through with it in the first place? When you enter into marriage, you should be convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt that it will succeed. Without that faith and trust, why not flush the whole institution down the toilet?
It's Up To You
So go ahead and applaud the merits of the prenuptial agreement. I cannot provide an argument against it, except to tell you that I want to live in a world where we all strive to uphold the intended objective of marriage in the first place. Because if that were the case, why on earth would we need the prenup in the first place?

Call me a dreamer, call me a hopeless romantic. But my life is pragmatic enough thank you. The last possible domain I want to be practical in is love and marriage.