The phenomenon used to be common back in the day when life was like an episode of Happy Days or a scene out of Grease . The star quarterback of the football team drops back to pass the winning touchdown in the big game and then out of the corner of his eye, spots the cute cheerleader jumping up and down with pompoms to the sky.

Love at first sight? You bet. After the prom and a college courtship, the quarterback proposes and of course, the cheerleader accepts. Her father hires quarterback boy to run the family business. They buy a house in the same neighborhood where they grew up, erect a white picket fence, buy a dog and a cat, and have 2.3 children. Oh yeah, one more thing -- they live happily ever after.

Sure, it reads like a fantasy. In essence, that is what it is -- an idealized depiction of marriage to your first love. But guess what men? It is possible to have it all with the first woman you fall for. You may not buy the dog and cat, live in the suburbs or spawn a large brood, but you can make it work with the right person by your side.

There are times when it does not pay to stray. If you are pondering whether or not to take the plunge with that proverbial high-school or college sweetheart, let the following piece marinate until you make a decision.
Back In The Day
Let us take a look back at the old school way of thinking. The institution of marriage was once respected and revered. People abstained from sex before settling down with a partner for life. The term "saving yourself for marriage" meant something back then. In practicing abstinence, you were withholding the most sacred act and part of you for the right person -- in theory.

For women, virginity was seen as a gift to be granted to their husbands on the wedding night. Perhaps men did not share the value with equal representation, but the prevalence of chaste couples was more common than today. There has been so much talk over the years about a return to traditional values. Why is that?

Many believe that society was better when family and marriage was the highest priority in life. It is tough to debate the issue when the world we live in today is so consumed with money, sex and scandal. Are we more enlightened and progressive now because of the incredible advances made over the past half century? When politicians call for a return to simpler times, is it an example of blind ignorance or common sense?

These issues have a direct correlation to the decision to settle down with that first love. By going against the grain today, you are demonstrating a willingness to fight the pressure of modern society. Marriage in general today is a gamble, but when you do it with the combined experience of one person, the odds stack up against you.

In my opinion though, statistics have nothing to do with love. There was something innocent and pure about the old school and if you believe, I think the gamble is worth it. The payoff will reward both of you for life.

The new school value and your potential stable of women.


The New School Value
Life is very different than it was when our grandparents were getting it on (sorry for the mental image). Everything is about instant gratification today. The pace is hectic and love has taken a backseat in favor of experience and sexual exploration.

Not many of us are immune to the pressure to work hard, focus on career and then worry about love, marriage and family in the distant future. With the advent of the information and media age, is there a topic that is sacred anymore? I believe that knowledge is power but where has our innocence gone?

I cannot claim to be old-fashioned, although I espoused a return to traditional values in the previous paragraph, or an exception to the modern relationship routine. I have sown my share of dirt but at heart, I believe in the possibility of finding happiness with that first love -- even though it did not work out in my case. I have to believe in it because without that sense of faith, where would I be? Where would we be as a society?
Why The Grass Is Not Greener
Now that I have concluded the philosophy session, let me school all of you men pondering marriage with that first sweetheart on what else is out there. Nothing much, I regret to inform you. Look, you may meet many wonderful women who stimulate you, but is it worth dumping the love you have now?

Think about it: unless you are in an abusive or dysfunctional relationship with no room for personal growth, it is not a good proposition. Forget about your concerns of monogamy. If the sex is good now (or the foreplay if abstinent) and you both are open, willing to experiment and please each other, sex with anyone else will leave you empty.

I know, I know; the curiosity is killing you. Just stop and think a minute -- with your brain. The best sex is with someone with whom you share a deep bond, where the comfort level is high and the rapport is honest. I assume you have all of that with the love of your life.

So why consider shelving the marriage plans or the long-term commitment because you want to be with more than one woman before you die? The bottom line is, a vagina is a vagina. Real love is priceless. If you know you have it in your heart, do not let it go.
Look Into Your Crystal Ball
A final note for the Doubting Thomas in you. Think about a future with your current sweetheart and first love. Marriage, family, a home -- the whole nine yards -- or not if you have different aspirations as a couple.

Now imagine that you cave in to your desire to experience more and leave her. What would life be like then? Yes, after braving the difficult transition period of being alone, you may find comfort in the arms of another woman.

You may become the biggest pimp on the planet and have your own stable of bitches. Fine. What then? It takes a strong man to stick with one woman his whole life. If that first love is the real deal, do not succumb to the temptation of the new school value.