There's nothing wrong with showing your interest in a woman when you first meet her or being madly in love with her in a relationship, but there is a problem when your love and affection becomes warped by neediness and insecurity.
A needy guy is someone who clings to a woman like she is his “security blanket,” who needs her to continually prove that she is 100% dedicated to him and who basically needs her more than she needs him. He worries if a woman hasn't replied to his text message, e-mail or Facebook message within minutes, hours or even that night. If the woman isn't available for a date, he worries that she might not feel exactly the same way as he does and may even go as far as asking her if is she is cheating on him or is thinking of doing so.

Needy (adj): Wanting or needing affection, attention, or reassurance, especially to an excessive degree.


A woman does want a man who desires her and wants to be with her, but she doesn't want a man who has a needy desire to be with her. Neediness in a man is not attractive to woman at all. In fact, it's something that turns a woman off so much that it can literally make her feel nauseous. The more a guy behaves in needy way, the worse she feels about him. Some guys will even go so far as to make a woman say, "Leave me alone! Never contact me again!"

The fact of the matter is, a woman is TURNED ON when she can rely on her man for practical and emotional support during a relationship and she is TURNED OFF when she has to take care of him and mother him like a little boy. Just like you might want to eat a chocolate cake but don't want it to be covered in dead insects, a woman will want your love as long as it is not full of insecurities and emotional weakness. When a guy poisons a conversation, interaction, date or relationship with his insecurities and emotional weakness, it's only natural that a woman is going to want to get away from him, just like you wouldn't want to eat a chocolate cake with dead flies all over it. A woman wants to feel bliss, true happiness and joy and she will only experience that with a man who is mentally and emotionally strong. An emotionally "sensitive" man simply can't make her feel like a real woman because he's too busy trying to "cope with the pressure" of talking to her and being around her.


There are many ways that guys display neediness and turn women off However, for now, I'll provide an introduction to the topic by discussing a common sign of neediness.

Constant Communication

Needy guys want to be in constant communication with a woman because without her constant affection and attention, they feel lost, lonely and, in some cases, depressed. A needy guy is in “panic mode” when he meets a woman he likes. He feels as though he must “lock her down” into a relationship before another guy comes along. He thinks, “Quick, quick, quick! I've got to secure this! I will never find another woman like her!”

When a needy guy is lucky enough to get a date (he is “lucky” to get one because most women are naturally turned off by his lack of confidence and abundance of emotional weakness so it will be rare that a woman actually gives him a chance), he will usually bombard the woman within text messages, e-mail, calls and Facebook messages.

He may even call or text the woman within minutes of leaving her to let her know what a great time he had or will simply send a message to “say hi” so he can be in communication with her again. After that, he will feel compelled to stay in constant contact with her from their last date until their next. During these communications, he might tell her how amazing he thinks she is, what a terrific couple he thinks they'd make, how much he misses her, all the times when he'll be available during the next week for another date and so forth. When a guy does this, most women will recognize his neediness and rapidly end the “relationship.” If she doesn't end it right away, she will simply pretend that she is interested and use his desperation for her as a self-esteem boost until she meets a real man that she can actually feel attraction for and whom she can respect and truly love.

When a needy guy gets dumped by a woman he really likes (often before they've even had sex), he will usually start looking for reasons why the woman didn't like him. However, since he doesn't understand to how to be the opposite of needy and give a woman the type of sexual and romantic courtship she REALLY wants to experience, he will mistakenly assume it must be his looks, job, race, fashion sense, or similar external “excuse” that doesn’t have anything to do with personal behavior with the woman. He then might “hit the gym” and buy new clothes in an attempt to improve his appearance when what the woman was actually turned off by was his neediness; not his appearance. As a female friend of mine said recently, "Anxiety makes a guy look ugly. Confidence makes him look sexy." That's the truth about attraction. If you're not confident, you don't look good. It's that simple. You can have all the muscles in the world but, if you lack confidence and are desperate, women will not find you attractive.

The fact is, women are turned off by the lack of confidence and the abundance of desperation that needy guys display. As you may know, you cannot hide your lack of confidence or desperation to “get laid” or have a girlfriend. Why? It comes through via your body language, tonality, conversation and actions. Just like you can sense when someone is not trustworthy (even though they are acting like they are), a woman can sense if you are secretly desperate to be with her and are needy for her affection, approval and attention...and it turns her off, big time.

Real men, the type of guys who are truly confident and who understand what women REALLY want in a guy, don't suffer from neediness. Why? Almost every woman they meet is attracted to them and wants to be with them, so they KNOW how many options they have with women. They don't have the “beggar mentality” that needy guys have because they have more women to choose from than they have time for.


Needy guys can sometimes get lucky and find themselves in a relationship because there are also women out there who are desperate, don't have many dating options or who lack the relationship experience to know that her guy will end up becoming extremely needy. However, soon enough, his insecurities will come rushing to the surface and begin ruining the relationship. Bit by bit, the woman's attraction, respect and love for him will dwindle away until she eventually says, “We need to talk” or “I need some space” or, if she has the courage to say it directly, “It's over. I no longer love you.”

Why? When a woman is faced with needy behavior from a man, she will first lose respect for him, then attraction for him and finally will begin to fall out of love with him. That is if she ever truly loved him in the first place. Most needy guys never really experience what it's like to be truly loved by a woman who they also love in return. Instead, needy guys usually find themselves in relationships that feel good at the start (because of all the sex and lust), but usually ends up with the woman falling out of love and then cheating on him before she ultimately dumps him.