Fear feeds on the power that you give to it. More importantly, so does confidence.
If you want to be a confident man who is free of fears and anxieties about life and women, should you keep trying to add “reasoning” to your fears or should you try to look for reasons to be confident? By “reasoning” I mean that some guys will look for more and more reasons to be fearful, rather than looking for reasons to be confident. They will push against life and hide themselves away, instead of flowing with it and allowing things to unfold.

One of the sad things about fear is that it often deters otherwise intelligent men from achieving important goals they have about women and life. Despite their intelligence, they can't seem to break away from the "fear shackles" that they themselves have created through the use of their own perception and mind. Fear has been a “thorn in the side” or a “pebble in the shoe” of humanity for so long that most people, even very intelligent people, assume that fear is something we can't escape or control no matter what. However, truth is that there are many wise people in this world who are fearless about life and as a result, are having amazing experiences and achieving goals that most other people only ever dream of.


Fear is a good thing when it comes to protecting your life. It isn't something that we need to completely rid ourselves of because, in life or death situations, it's a very useful emotion that ensures we don't take stupid risks and end up dead!

However, fear is unhelpful and unnecessary when it is simply stopping you from doing things that will not result in death or serious injury. For instance, there are many things that people fear because they are potentially dangerous or life-threatening. Most people fear fire because it can burn you instantly or kill you if you're exposed to it long enough. Understandably, most people fear standing on the ledge of a tall building because you can easily fall to your death, or they fear coming face-to-face with a dangerous criminal because you can be killed, robbed or injured.


In the modern world, some guys get so caught up in their fears and insecurities that they avoid important aspects of life as much as possible. To be happy and healthy, a man needs to have balance in all areas of life such as:

Social interaction and friendships.
Romantic/sexual love, intimacy and companionship.
Physical health.
Intellectual stimulation.
Spiritual or philosophical inquiry.
Emotional variety.
Purpose in life.
If only a few of those areas are in balance, a man will naturally feel down and unwell, especially if the area of love and intimacy are missing. A man can only put up with so much work and lonely free time before he begins to feel down about life. Having a beautiful woman in your life, having great friends and enjoying love, intimacy and companionship make it so much easier and more natural to feel happy, upbeat and positive about life and your future.

However, due to a general fear of life, a lot of modern men avoid social interaction as much as possible and miss out on opportunities to connect and escalate (to kissing, sex and a relationship) with women they find attractive. Intelligent or not, such men spend most of their time hiding away from life and the world hoping that somehow things will change and improve for them. However, the truth about life is that you need to take action to make or create the changes you seek. Change will happen to you whether you like it or not (usually negative changes), but if you want positive changes to happen in your life, you usually need to take action yourself.

"Never let the fear of striking out get in your way." Babe Ruth, Legendary Baseball Player


I've heard a lot of guys who try to justify their fear of women with reasons such as, “But, what if she has an angry boyfriend and he comes over and beats me up for talking to her?” To the guy providing the reason, intelligent or not, he really does believe that the “angry boyfriend” scenario is not only possible but very likely.

The truth is that it IS possible. However, I have been running The Modern Man for over seven years now, have been actively approaching women for around nine years and have coached 1,000+ guys in person on weekend courses or at seminars and I have never personally experienced a woman hitting me or me being injured as a result of an approach, nor have I seen or heard of a customer or client experiencing the same.

Some guys reading along now (who want to feed their fear instead of giving life to their confidence), will say, “You said it IS possible. So, it CAN happen! I have every reason to be afraid” and if you are one of those guys, you should be ashamed of yourself. You are much more intelligent than that. You should use your intelligence to IMPROVE your life, not RUIN it.

Think about it...

If you used the same logic as that when driving a car, you could say, “Hey, but when I am driving on a two-way road, a driver COULD swerve across into my lane and we would then have a head on collision! So, I won't drive at all.” See my point? A guy like that could also be afraid of eating, “But, what if the food has been poisoned?” or having sex, “But, what if I'm no good?”

Okay, I think you get the point. Whether you have a fear of women or a fear of life, just remember this: It is YOU who is feeding the fear. You can either decide to feed your confidence or your fear because YOU are in control of your own mind.

"Do one thing every day that scares you." Eleanor Roosevelt, longest-serving First Lady of the United States

"We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light." Plato, Classical Greek philosopher


Many men dread approaching women because of what they've seen happen in movies or on TV shows. A classic example is where a guy goes up to a girl and tries to hit on her/pick her up and she slaps him or otherwise dismisses him and leaves him crushed and embarrassed.

We haven't ALWAYS had TV and movies, so this is a modern problem and what a lot of modern men are failing to do, is recognize the difference between entertainment and education. Since they don't approach many women or usually fail when they approach women because they don't know what they are doing, a lot of modern men look to TV and movies for guidance about what they should do instead.

Let me say it now and make it clear - there is a difference between educational media (i.e. The Modern Man programs for success with women) and entertainment media (i.e. Hollywood movies, TV sitcoms, documentaries by so-called “authorities,” guests on TV talk shows, etc.). Often, a modern man will hear a celebrity speak on a TV talk show as he/she is being interviewed and listen for their “dating advice” as though the celebrity is some sort of expert. As you may have noticed, most celebrities are not very good at relationships and, as for the male celebrities, they don't even have to be skilled with women to get laid; women just want them because they are famous.

So, be careful who you get your "dating advice" from. If you're trying to learn how to be successful with women by watching TV, you will add more fuel to your fears in most cases. A recent example is how Nivea has been pitching moisturizing cream to men that helps hide their wrinkles and make their face more radiant and bright. The advertisement claims that women will think you look “tired” if you don't use their moisturizer, when the actual truth is that women do NOT care. Women are attracted to a man's confidence, not his shiny, pretty, sparkly face! If you fall for that Nivea marketing garbage, you will end up thinking, behaving and presenting yourself like a "Metrosexual" and many women will assume you don't like women at all, if you know what I mean. You do NOT have to be pretty, sparkly and radiant to attract women. You simply need to be confident. The proof is ALL AROUND YOU: You always see average, below-average and even shabby looking guys with beautiful women. Women aren't looking for pretty girly guys, they are looking for men. If you believe the garbage that Nivea pushes, you will think that women want you to look as shiny and radiant as a woman.

Only the guys who understand the TRUTH about what women REALLY want can see through all the nonsense that is fed to them through television and other forms of advertising media in general. If you try to learn how to live your life by watching TV advertisements, TV sitcoms and Hollywood movies, it is only natural that you will develop unnecessary fears and insecurities. It's up to you though. You have to make the decision whether you are going to use entertainment as your education and end up developing more fears or insecurities, or whether you will get a proper education about women, being a man in the modern world and living a fearless, happy and successful life as a result.

Obviously, I am here to help you and get RID of your fears with women. If you learn from me, you will become confident, fearless and brave. I'm not telling you that with the sole purpose of trying to convince you to buy my product, I am telling you because you NEED to know it. You can set yourself free from unnecessary fears and insecurities and live life as a confident man (who doesn't need to use beauty products from Nivea!), or you can buy into the garbage that is fed to you from random companies trying to sell you crap you don't need. Guys who are successful with women are successful because they are confident, masculine and know how to flirt with women and escalate to kissing and sex. It's not the clothes they wear or the type of deodorant they use, it is their confidence and personality. YOU are what is most valuable to a woman, NOT a moisturiser or aftershave.


It doesn't matter how afraid a man is of being rejected or dumped by a woman, his sexual and loving desire for women never goes away. A man can be intensely afraid of beautiful women and become nervous and anxious when talking to them, but his attraction for them will not diminish. Unfortunately though in the modern world, men who fear women are “getting rid of” their desire a few times a week by watching porn.

While it might feel exciting and arousing to look at porn and see sexy women being sexed by other men (and pretending that it is you that is having sex with her), it will never help you overcome your fears or achieve what you want with women. A man who uses porn to calm his desire a few times a week, but who truly wants to be confident and have sex and a relationship with a woman who loves him, is not helping himself much at all. It's all so temporary and he is only left with an empty, lonely feeling after he ejaculates, alone, once again.

The truth is, talking to women is VERY EASY when you know what to say and how to interact with women. In fact, when you know what you are doing, talking to women is EXCITING and makes you feel even MORE confident than before. However, if you don't know how to instantly attract and charm the women you meet, it's only natural that they are going to close themselves off to you and that you are going to feel rejected and down on yourself about that. It's not that women are mean and cold-hearted and want to hurt men who approach them, it's just that a woman wants to find a real man who is capable of making her feel a wide range of exciting and enjoyable emotions, not a guy who is afraid of her and doesn't know what to say.


Over the years I've heard many guys say things like, “I really do want to have a relationship with a beautiful woman, but I’ve been rejected so many times in the past and have been turned down when I’ve asked women out. I stopped trying a while back because women are just too choosy these days. You can't please them.”

However, the reason that these guys are getting rejected is simple - they are doing it wrong. It's not because they're not tall, dark and handsome or are not rich and famous. If that's what it took to be successful with women, 99% of guys wouldn't have a girlfriend. The fact is, in most cases, when you see a beautiful woman, her boyfriend will not be “good looking” or have any of the traits that most guys use as excuses for themselves. Women want confident men who can make them feel a wide range of exciting and enjoyable emotions during their initial interaction, on dates, during sex and throughout their entire relationship. If you don't know how to do that, it's not your fault. You only know what you know. You can't know the things you don't know unless you learn them and if you want to learn how to be the guy that women desperately want,

Your other option is that you could just keep going through life being afraid of attractive women and doubting yourself around them. It really is up to you. This is your life and, as you may have noticed; no-one is coming to your rescue to magically fix everything in your life for you without you having to do anything. If that was the case, you wouldn't have searched around to find this website in the first place.