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- The Contemporary Man/ T. Miller
- At The Contemporary Man's, we guarantee that you will succeed with women and get the results you want from your dating life when you use our proven system for success with women called 'Dating Power'. You simply cannot fail when you use our tested techniques for success with women. We have spent the last 5 years testing and refining our method for success with women by: Approaching, dating and being in relationships with modern women ourselves. Coaching over 650 guys in person and literally showing them how to approach and pick up women using our natural style. Testing our techniques in all sorts of social environments, including parties, workplaces, nightclubs, cafes, shopping malls and bookstores to name a few. Interviewing women from around the world and asking for their opinions on the modern dating and relationship scene. Researching all available studies, published documentation and theories in this field. Following up with guys that we'd coached to find out if they needed more advice as they become more successful with women. We then included the advanced advice in our products.
Sunday, October 27, 2013
Why Loyalty Is Everything
Hey T,
I’m a loyal fan and I always recommend your articles to my guy friends. I met Shana four months ago on an online dating site. She’s 33 and a knockout. We hit it off and have been dating since. I always follow your rules and never contact her unless she reaches out to me, and we only go out about once a week. I’ve been working hard on being a Challenge, and it has paid off with this woman. Her Interest Level is high and she’ll do anything I ask. She always compliments me on how smart I am and talks as if we’re going to be together forever.
Now here’s where I think I went wrong. I started inviting Shana to some small social get-togethers with some of my friends. Everyone liked her and she seemed to have a blast. Two months ago, I planned a trip to a casino town to help my best friend celebrate his advanced degree (he’s 36). He was bringing his girlfriend, so I thought it would be a great idea to invite Shana along. Shana had never met my friend, but I suspect she had been checking out his Facebook page because at two separate points she mentioned to me that she had a dream and that my friend was in it. I thought it was odd since she had never met him but I played it cool and just laughed it off, but it stuck in my head.
Now, usually Shana dresses very casually. But when we left for this trip, she showed up at my place dressed to kill: short skirt, fresh pedicure/manicure, hair perfect, etc. I was like, "Wow! You look great — but for a car ride?" My fears were confirmed when they met. I could tell immediately that Shana was very attracted to my friend and it was difficult for her to hide it. She was giving him all kinds of signals, intently focusing on anything he said, asking questions, following him around, being provocative, and I would catch her staring at him regularly. Thank God this was only a one-day trip, but I was hurt. I found it difficult to hide my attitude that night, though I never said why I had it.
I was so angry that when we got to my place and we all said our goodbyes, Shana came inside, and I simply packed up the little stuff she had at my house and handed it to her. She teared up a bit, and I apologized for being distant the night before. I never explained to her why I was upset because I assumed she must have known and she never asked me why or what was wrong. I swore to myself I would never contact Shana again because she disrespected me in front of my friends. I’m the guy she was supposed to be trying to impress, and I’m the dummy who paid the bill for her to be along for the trip.
The absence of contact for the past week has been eating me up, though, and now I’m wondering if I should have sat Shana down and explained to her why I was upset and why I ended it. I’m not sure I would have been able to do it without sounding insecure or like a wuss. So Doc, did I do the right thing? Do you think Shana knew what was up? If she reaches out to me, should I tell her she embarrassed me or do I need to close the door on this and never speak to her again?
Portnoy - who has a lot to complain about
Hi Portnoy,
You’re telling me that you’re going out with a knockout and you’re reading my articles but you don’t have my book. To you psych majors, when you go out with a beauty, you need all the ammunition you can get in order to hold someone like this. If Shana is 33 and available and she’s a beauty, she’s dangerous. Like the old cowboy saying goes, “She’s planted a lot of hearts up on Boot Hill.” Why are you waiting to get more ammunition?
Now let me get this straight. Shana, who never met your friend, is saying she’s dreaming about him? When she told you this, you should have come right out and asked her if she’d been to his Facebook page. Portnoy, her dream wasn’t odd; it was downright weird.
Then Shana went ahead and practically threw herself at your friend during your little jaunt. And you have to look at it this way, too: She was also doing all this stuff in front of the girl your buddy brought along on the trip. So she wasn’t just insulting you; she was also totally dissing this guy’s girlfriend because her Interest Level in your friend is so high. Like my cousin Sal “The Fish” Love says, “Shana’s a real gem.”
You don’t owe Shana an apology for anything, my friend. You got it backwards. She owes you an apology. Of course she knew what she did was wrong. This girl gets a big, fat “F” in Loyalty. Shana did totally disrespect you in front of your friends. You took the right approach by handing back her stuff and telling her to get lost. My hat is off to you for the way you handled it.
So why would you want to talk to this babe now? She didn’t just send up one minor red flag here — she sent up a whole field full of red flags with this friend of yours in the short amount of time you were all together. And what can she say now? “Gee, Portnoy, you’re right. I flirted with this guy two dozen times and I was wrong and I’m never going to do that again. Gee, I don’t know what got into me!” Do you really think you’re going to have that conversation, my man?
Did you do the right thing? You did the right thing perfectly, buddy. Of course Shana knew what was up. She’s not stupid. Thirty-three and beautiful? Come on, dude.
If she calls you up, tell her you’d like to talk to her but you can’t because your date’s in the bathroom. Then tell her to keep in touch.
Remember, guys: If she doesn’t have Loyalty, she’s worthless.
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