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About Us
- The Contemporary Man/ T. Miller
- At The Contemporary Man's, we guarantee that you will succeed with women and get the results you want from your dating life when you use our proven system for success with women called 'Dating Power'. You simply cannot fail when you use our tested techniques for success with women. We have spent the last 5 years testing and refining our method for success with women by: Approaching, dating and being in relationships with modern women ourselves. Coaching over 650 guys in person and literally showing them how to approach and pick up women using our natural style. Testing our techniques in all sorts of social environments, including parties, workplaces, nightclubs, cafes, shopping malls and bookstores to name a few. Interviewing women from around the world and asking for their opinions on the modern dating and relationship scene. Researching all available studies, published documentation and theories in this field. Following up with guys that we'd coached to find out if they needed more advice as they become more successful with women. We then included the advanced advice in our products.
Friday, May 31, 2013
Shower Sex & Blackmail
Question 1A few weeks ago, I made the biggest mistake of my life. I succumbed to the sexual advances of my wife's best friend. I later found out she is very promiscuous. She told a mutual friend what happened between us. Now the second woman is blackmailing me. If I don't give in to her monetary demands, she is going to tell my wife about the first woman. My wife would be crushed and she would leave me instantly. What do I do?
-A Dead Man
Dear Dead Man,
This is a very difficult situation. At least you know what a big mistake you made, so I won't remind you. You should have put your foot down the moment the second woman confronted you with her threat. If she blackmailed you once, she will do it again. If you give in to her demands, what is to say she won't use it against you again? Confront this lowlife and tell her that you won't pay her and if she truly feels compelled to tell your wife, to go ahead. Just make sure that you break the news to her first.
You have a much better chance of getting through this if the news comes from you as opposed to from a third party. Even if she agrees not to tell your wife, I still recommend you tell her yourself. Considering these events occurred with people so close to her, there is always a good chance she will find out. You don't want to risk her finding out from anyone but you. Good luck.
Question 2
Is having sex in a hot shower or hot tub safe? Someone told me that the heat kills the sperm, and my girlfriend cannot get pregnant. I know it sounds crazy, but that's what I've heard.
-Wet & Wild,
Dear Wet & Wild,
I do not recommend using a hot tub or shower as a form of birth control. It does not kill the sperm, but I can see how and where this rumor got started. The scrotum is the pouch that contains a pair of testes, functioning to maintain the testes at a temperature approximately 5 degrees lower than the rest of the body. The process of sperm production is extremely heat sensitive. In hot temperatures, the muscles in the scrotum relax, and the testes move away from the heat of the body. In cold temperatures, the muscles of the scrotum contract, where they can maintain their 5-degree temperature difference.
The heat in a hot tub or shower can indeed interfere with normal sperm production. Not sufficiently enough, however, that all sperm will die -- in most cases, the number of live sperm is merely reduced but there are still enough to get a woman pregnant. Also, it is very risky and there is no guarantee that this will always occur. Men with fertility problems are usually told to avoid hot tubs, saunas and the like, but this is because they don't want anything interfering with their sperm production as it is already being compromised. I strongly urge you to use condoms, even when in the hot tub or shower, and be sure to correct whomever told you this false information.
Question 3
I have a question about my husband's sex drive. We have been married eleven years. My husband wants sex 4-5 times a week, while I rarely want it. He marks the days he wants to make love to me on my calendar. I find this very bizarre. I don't know why he wants it so much. Any advice? Who is in the wrong here?
-Andrea
Dear Andrea,
First off, the romance is missing. I don't think that marking down when you're going to have sex on a calendar is very romantic. Doing this turns sex into a chore. My question to you is this: Do you enjoy making love to him? Are you left sexually fulfilled? Make sure there is mutual pleasure involved. If it's all about him, then don't wonder why you are not in the mood.
Secondly, you should not wonder why he wants it so often. All this means is that he loves you, is attracted to you and wants to share his love with you physically. If the two of you can turn your lovemaking into something that pleases you both, there will be no need for scheduling. I think that if you have quality sex, he won't need it as often, replacing the quantity with quality.
Finally, you may be avoiding sex because there is something else that is bothering you about the relationship. The main symptom -- at least the main one that you are noticing -- is what is happening in the bedroom. Ask yourself if there is another aspect of the relationship that is affecting your bedside manner. You both owe it to yourselves to sort out anything that may be having an adverse effect on your relationship.
Question 4
I have had numerous medical problems in my life, and now I think I have come across the worst one of all. Intercourse has become extremely painful to the point where my husband cannot enter inside of me. I have become totally inelastic and no matter how much lubricant we use, it still does not help. What can I do?
-Mrs. A. Perry,
Dear Mrs. A. Perry,
From the information provided, I would venture a guess that you are suffering from a condition known as vaginal atrophy. Atrophic vaginitis is an inflammation of the vagina that develops when there is a significant decrease in levels of the female hormone estrogen. Estrogen is produced by the ovaries and plays a vital role in keeping the vagina lubricated and healthy. When levels of estrogen are low, vaginal tissue becomes atrophic -- thin, dry and shrunken. Common low-estrogen conditions that result in vaginal atrophy include menopause, breast-feeding, removal of the ovaries and medications used to decrease estrogen levels in women who have uterine fibroids or endometriosis.
The good news is that it can be treated. Vaginal atrophy can be resolved with estrogen replacement therapy, where a doctor will prescribe an estrogen pill, a topical estrogen cream or a transdermal estrogen patch. Estrogen cream is inserted into the vagina using an applicator, and it can also be smoothed onto the skin of the vulva. An estrogen patch is applied once or twice weekly to deliver estrogen through the skin. You should see your gynecologist immediately to start treatment.
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