There is this girl I like at my bank, and who I thought liked me. I bought your book after I met her hoping it would help get her. Well, I used some charm by dropping a card through the drive-through and writing if she wanted to go out Sunday night. Let me tell ya, she melted and told me that no one has ever done that for her before. She told me to give her my number and that she would call me for Sunday night. Well Sunday rolled around and she didn't call, but the next time I saw her she turned red and greeted me with a smile and the apologetic excuse that she was away that weekend and she felt so bad she didn't call me, and then she bowed her head and said she was sorry, but didn't say she would call. What do you think I should do? Should I say anything? It's been a month but I see her about three times a week at the bank.

- J in Ct Responds
Well, at this stage in the game, I'd recommend that you always get her number and e-mail.

You be the one to e-mail and call her first.

This way you can follow up, and she knows that you know how to get a hold of her.
The card and the asking her out on a "date" was probably a little too much, in my opinion.

When you do things like this, you come across as overly interested.

Better to say, "Hey, give me your e-mail," then to e-mail and suggest a cup of tea. Then, if tea goes well, suggest something else, and so on.

Let things progress naturally, and don't come on so strong in the beginning.

Here's what I'd do if I were you: Next time you see her, say, "OK, you're playing hard to get, but it's not working on me." Say it in a funny way. Then, "Give me your e-mail and number, and I'll call you in a few days."

Then get her info, and wait a few days to call her.

When you do reach her, tell her that she owes you a cup of tea for being flaky. And make her pay for it.

Make sure you don't act like a needy Wuss, OK?

Reader's Comments
Hey Travis,

Your material rocks. After Henry Ford, you are the man who has changed America. I have one huge question: As you often say, women test a lot and do it by many different means. I have recently come to a certain girl who we call a woman player. At some point, when everything I was doing was going well, she just said, "I love you." I know that saying this on the first date for a guy is a no-no, but what if she says it? I know that this time it was a test, but what if this happens and the girl is serious?

Thank you.
S-D, Quebec

Responds
Well, if you're interesting enough, you're going to have women saying things like "I love you" all the time.

And, just like Hans Solo said to Princess Leia, you need to say, "I know."

Don't turn into Wussy Boy and say something dumb like, "Really?"

By the way, if a woman is serious when she says "I love you" on the first date, then you need to be really, really careful.

Reader's Comments
Hey Travis,

Great news: I tried Cocky & Funny with a girl I've known for over a year as a friend but would never dream of "approaching."

I asked her advice about fashion and took her shopping with me for clothes. I busted on her the whole time about looking at my ass, etc. So a few days later I get a call:

"What do you like to drink? How 'bout I stop by with some beers and hang out?"

Between our second and third lovemaking sessions she apologizes for taking up my time, and confesses that she's not really looking for a relationship right now, and hopes I'm not mad -- pure gold, man. This woman is 10 years younger and the
highest-paid stripper at a local bar. I'm broke, short, bald, cocky, and funny. Go figure.

Thanks a million.
Jake.

 Responds
Yeah, bummer... isn't it?

While you might not have found the ultimate "wife" material, it doesn't sound to me like you mind the free fashion advice (oh, and free beer).

Here's an interesting question: Why is it that the highest-paid dancer at a local bar, one who has literally hundreds and hundreds of men around her that would pay her, buy her anything and worship her like a queen, would rather buy beer and bring it to an older, short, bald, cocky, funny guy and then say, "I'm sorry if I'm wasting your time. I'm not looking for a relationship"?

And here's an interesting answer: She doesn't need a clingy, loser, psycho, Wussy, sketchy jackass who calls her 47 times a day to ask her what she's doing and says "I miss you, when can I see you again."

Powerful.