I met Bridget a year ago. She was a waitress in the bar my roommate managed. She’s cute, funny, outgoing, and an all-around great person. I got her number and asked her out. We went out for dinner and had a few drinks, but not too long afterward our conversations became bland and I would get one-word replies via text if I got any response at all. I’m no dummy, and I got the point. It was over. I found out later that she started seeing some other guy at this exact same time.

Fast forward eight months. It was Bridget’s last day at the bar where we met. Everyone was buying her shots and she got way too tipsy. My roommate asked me to make sure she got home safe. The problem was that she was incoherent and I had no clue where she lived. I ended up just taking her back to my place, covering her up on the couch with a blanket and leaving her a bucket. The next day she felt embarrassed for her actions and yet grateful to me for making sure she was okay. So she offered to take me out as a thank-you. We went out for dinner and some drinks again. The night was fun.

Since then, it’s a regular thing where the two of us will go out after work to unwind with a drink. It’s very friendly but light. It wasn’t until last month that I noticed Bridget’s Interest Level climbing. Her friends have told me how much she talks about me. I received a text message from her that was a picture of her and her three sisters with the words, “These girls can’t wait to meet you.” It means she’s talking to her family about me. She also cancelled a trip with her family to come out for my birthday and the amount she touches me has skyrocketed.

Two weeks ago, we went out for pints. Afterwards, she was practically throwing herself at me, but I was scared to kiss her. Last Friday, I had tickets to a concert and asked her to come along. She did. We ended up going to a local pub after that and danced. When we got to her place I told myself I had to kiss her. She had no objections and things got a little intimate.

After I kissed her, Bridget suddenly bailed on our next date with the excuse that she needed to catch up on work. She got a promotion with her company and says she needs to be caught up before she starts her new position. I’m not sure what to think of that excuse. I waited five long days to get in contact with her, asked her out for dinner and she gave me the same excuse of needing to work. She did, however, apologize for being “flaky” and said with a laugh that she knows that there are a few things we need to discuss after our last date — but she did not give me any counter-offer.

I honestly thought I had it right this time, Travis I thought all the signs were there and that kissing Bridget was what she wanted me to do. Now I don’t know what the next step should be. I really feel like the next move needs to be on her, but am fearful that if I leave her alone she’ll disappear.

Declan — who is extremely confused

Hi Declan,

Now, how do you know that Bridget is such a great person? And what exactly is a great person, Declan? Why are you giving her all this credit?
Let me explain what really happened. Bridget started going out with some other guy. You had your chance with her and you didn’t capitalize on it. Why? Because you only went through my book a couple of times. And that was it — it was finished.
When your roommate told you to take Bridget home, you should have told him that you weren’t a taxi service. And you should have told Bridget to call a taxi because you have more important things to do. This was your big mistake, pal. Here’s the point: It was already a done deal!

But you went out with this girl when it was already over and you took her to your house. Instead of going out for drinks with her, you should have told Bridget you had a girlfriend. Like my cousin Rabbi Love says, “You have the shortest memory in history, my son.” You had your shot with this girl and it was over. Why were you wasting time with her again?

Then you went and talked to her friends about your dates. Another mistake! You have to remember that Bridget already lost interest in you in the past. This is a second go-round. Don’t you get that, guy? Nevertheless, you ended up kissing Bridget, who doesn’t like you. Great!

And of course she bailed on you right after you kissed her. I’m shocked! This proves that she’s had it with you. She keeps giving you the excuse that she needs to work so she can’t possibly see you. Like my cousin Sal “The Fish” Love says, “It’s obvious she’s in love with you.”

Declan, when a babe says that she needs to discuss something with you, it means you’re out! Finito. When she says she’s flaky, that means you’re history. Of course she didn’t counter-offer. Women with high Interest Level make counter-offers. Women with low interest break dates. This is very, very complex stuff, my friend!

Yes, you did it right this time, buddy, but unfortunately you did it the second time around. You did it with a girl you got dumped by before and it was already over. Therefore, there was nowhere for any of this to go.

-Travis