I just got married in May of this year, and I truly love my husband. We've been together for quite a whi

le and the sex was ALWAYS good. Nowadays, however, I'm lucky if I get it once a week. I am so frustrated, and when I tell him that my needs must be met, he says that I'm pressuring him and turning sex into a chore.

Please help me doc.

Melanie Moore, Birmingham, UK

Dear Melanie,

I can certainly appreciate your concern regarding sexual satisfaction. Most women don't realize how common your situation is. Your husband feels stressed out and needs your support rather than condemnation. You didn't specify how long this has been happening but I'm assuming it has been a while.

Instead of constantly bringing it up, why not dress sexy or take him on a weekend getaway? Take the focus off sex and place it on seduction; seduce your husband and make him feel special and needed.

People deal with stress in different ways and rather than making sex seem like a chore, why don't you take initiative and give him deep kisses and sensual massages every now and again?

During masturbation, I frequently put phallic objects up my anus. In the last three months, though, I have been increasing the size of the objects until it becomes extremely painful, but yet I am driven to do so. Is there any way to curb this fetish?

Anal Retentive, Chicago, IL

Dear Anal,

Your problem is one of discipline; it's not absolutely uncontrollable. When you have sex with a partner, are you able to orgasm without penetrating your anus with inanimate objects?

If you have begun sticking things that cause pain in your rectum without causing actual damage to your overall health, then there's nothing to worry about.

But if you are unable to achieve an orgasm without penetrating your anus with these painful objects, then I recommend that you consult a professional. 

My girlfriend and I are getting frustrated with condoms, as we always need to take time out to get them on and what have you. I was wondering what you know about vaginal contraceptive film . Is this a good form of birth control? How long is it effective before it dissolves? 

Jeff D., St. Paul, MN

Dear Jeff,

Vaginal Contraceptive Film, or VCF, is a vaginal spermicide. A single VCF is a 2 x 2 inch paper-thin sheet that contains a sperm-killing chemical (called nonoxynol-9). It is translucent and is placed on or near the cervix (the opening of the womb). It dissolves in seconds.

Among typical couples who use vaginal spermicides, about 25% will experience an accidental pregnancy in the first year. If vaginal spermicides are used consistently and correctly, only about 6% of women will become pregnant. In my opinion, the Pill is more effective and reliable.

I recently got herpes from my girlfriend a few weeks ago. I know it's herpes because I have all the symptoms, but she has been my only sex partner ever. So does this mean that she has had sexual intercourse with someone else? Or could it be that she developed herpes with out having another sexual partner?

Nate Y., Plattsburgh, NY

Dear Nate,

Although genital herpes can only be transmitted sexually, it is possible that your girlfriend gave it to you orally. That is to say that, if she has canker sores or "cold sores" -- another form of herpes -- they could have been transferred from her mouth to your penis.

Environmental surfaces like toilet seats may be a source of contagion, but there is no evidence that this poses a real threat to the general population. Experts differ as to how long the virus can survive on its own. The primary cause of infection remains intimate contact.

Although cold sores are not necessarily transmitted sexually, they too can result in genital herpes. I'm sorry to hear about your drawback, but it is recommended that you visit a doctor as soon as you can. Remember that rather than attack your girlfriend, try to remain calm and discuss the issue at hand. It's very important that you speak and listen to each other.