If you’re wondering whether you need to work on changing the shape of your body to attract the attention of women, something must have put that thought into your mind. So what was it? A billboard ad, a comment from a woman, a line from a movie, a TV show or an article in a glossy magazine, perhaps?
Somewhere along the way, you’ve made a connection between having a muscular physique and having women fall at your feet, right? Well, it’s time to take a good look around at the real world and to question again whether the images you see in advertisements are anything like the world you see around you in everyday life.


Unless you happen to be at a post-Mr Olympia event party, the guys you’re likely to see around the room at any ordinary party are going to be of all shapes and sizes. Now ask yourself, which guys in the room generally appear to get the attention of women? Be honest, are they all bigger and beefier than you? They’re not, are they? It’s not a guy’s physique that attracts a woman’s attention, it’s who a guy is that is appealing to a woman.

But, just for the sake of argument, let’s say you’ve noticed that a couple of muscular guys in the room do seem to be getting a lot of female attention. If you’ve bought in to the false belief promoted by the advertising world, you’re going to assume that it’s their rippling muscles that are doing the talking, right? Well, the question you need to ask now is, is it just their appearance that has attracted that attention, or is there more to it than meets the eye? In the real world, women don’t “swoon” at the sight of a bulging bicep otherwise you would see them doing it, but you do see it happening in music videos, TV advertisements and movies, right? In the real world, women are turned on by a man's confidence. It’s not his muscles that are doing the talking, it’s his confidence.

“I go for two kinds of men. The kind with muscles, and the kind without” – Mae West, Actress


Sure, a guy who works out regularly and keeps himself in good shape probably does get a confidence boost out of feeling good about himself and, in turn, his confidence will attract women, but it would be wrong to assume that if you did the same, you’d automatically boost your own success with women. Heck, I've lost count of how many guys have contacted me saying something like, “Dan, I'm tall, good-looking and work out at the gym 4 times a week, but I haven't had a girlfriend for 5 years and women aren't interested in me. What is going on?” When I ask a few questions in my reply, it ALWAYS turns out that the guy lacks confidence in himself and is intimidated by women he finds attractive. Boom! Problem solved: Become confident. If you're not confident, learn how to be and get on with enjoying your life. If you refuse to become confident, women are going to continue refusing to be with you. It's pretty simple; women want confident guys. End of story.

Think about it this way, if you lack confidence in yourself as the man you are right now, would having bigger biceps actually change anything? No! It wouldn’t. It’s true that women are attracted to powerful men, but it’s not necessarily physical power that attracts, it’s mental and emotional power (i.e. confidence, alpha male masculinity, leadership, emotional security (instead of insecurity), etc). Women are attracted to men who are confident in themselves, confident in their abilities and confident in where they’re going in life. When you become a confident guy who knows who he is and what he stands for in life, you become a guy that women are attracted to.

In the past, when life was a “fend for yourself” type situation for humans and we didn't have supermarkets, police, the media, etc, the physical strength of a man really helped him stand out from the others. If he was also confident, his ability to physical intimidate/dominate other men would have naturally made him a leader. Women would have seen him as someone who could protect them from other men, so he would have his pick of women. Remember: In the past, there was no police, media, court systems and prisons to protect women from rapists, murderers, etc. A man could kill, rape or steal and leave the area to live somewhere else and he would get away with it completely.

Fast forward to today and being a man who has what it takes to protect a woman is a whole different ball game. In a world where woman can be business leaders and have life ambitions that extent way beyond making babies and cooking for her man, it’s all too easy to slip into thinking that proving yourself as a capable man means developing a super-macho “manly” physique in order to compete and stand out from all the others. This is flawed thinking. No matter how “strong” and confident a woman is, she still wants a man who knows how to make her feel like a woman and you can ONLY do that if you know how to think, behave and take action like a MAN. If you were one of the unlucky ones who wasn't taught how to be a man while you were growing up,


The bottom-line is, if you start spending all of your spare time in the weights room at your local gym, you’re missing the point. No matter how big your muscles are, if you lack confidence women are going to feel stronger than you (mentally and emotionally) and that is a huge turn off for women. The world may have changed, but women are still instinctively looking for a man who can protect them. In the eyes of a modern woman, the size of a guy’s biceps tells her nothing about his ability to be her protector who will be there to guide her through life and allow her to feel safe to be a free-flowing, emotional woman.

She doesn’t need a man who can go out and bring home “the kill” for her, she needs a modern man who can confidently handle himself in today's world. So, this no longer means she’s looking for the biggest, beefiest guy she can find, but she is looking for someone with more mental and emotional strength than she has, so she can rely on you to protect her and guide her when necessary. It’s not about trying to be Superman or trying to emulate the airbrushed male models in the magazines with their perfect six-pack abs, it’s about being real. I'm not saying that you should never exercise or build more physical strength, but I am saying that if you do so, do it because you want to, not because you think women will see you as strong and swoon.